Cold

I got sick. It sucks, I got a very bad cold and was out of it for most of the week. I am feeling better, but still not 100%. Anyway, you can guess that I haven't joined the YMCA yet. I plan on it this Sunday or Monday. I have not done any Christmas shopping yet either. I really can't believe it that it is the middle of December already.

Challenges

My plans for the YMCA were changed when the person bailed on me to go with a guest pass. You have to have a member with you for that. So I went anyway and inquired and toured the facilities. I think I was expecting it to be a little nicer, but it isn't a new building. They have a nice one downtown here, but it is out of my way. Maybe I can go to that one occasionally. It is nice you can go to any of them.

I thought it over and it is a financial commitment because you have to pay every month. It is $64 a month and I do think that is a little steep for 1 person but I am going to join anyway. I so need to just go and exercise after work and get it done with. When I go home there are too many distractions and I just never can get myself going anymore. This wasn't a problem before, I had way more motivation.

We have a lot of eating opportunities coming up and if I am exercising I would feel better and maybe be able to resist the temptation to keep pigging out. I have no idea, but the holidays really make it challenging to eat better.

Hiatus

So I haven't been around much. I had a lot going on in my life. My bf was very sick and we could not find out what was wrong with him, but finally we did. He got his gallbladder out 2 weeks ago. He is feeling a ton better and all is well. I also had some adjustment to my new work department. Anyway, I am freshly back after thanksgiving and would like to resume my blog. I have gained about 3 pounds but plan on getting it off asap! I haven't stopped exercising, but haven't been as diligent. So my plan now is to join a gym.

Tonight..with the help of my bf's sister, I plan on being a guest at our local YMCA. It is expensive to join to me, but it has a good variety of group classes that I would love to do to get my exercising mojo back. I hope I get to go...I may anyway if she bails on me..and just join. I have about 2 weeks off from work in December and I would love to make going to the gym a priority during that time. I so want to reach my goals of weight loss! My goal is just 10 pounds right now, so wish me luck!

Dissatisfaction

I read another article from Judith Beck dealing with eating satisfation. I think it has some good tips that I need to remember more often!

Remind yourself:
• I’m probably just feeling unsatisfied, which is not a reason to overeat.
• Even if this IS true hunger, there’s no emergency here. I’ll be eating again in x hours.
• I deserve a lot of credit for eating only what I planned. (“It’s actually great that I’m stopping now.”)
• Stopping now means I’ll still be able to wear smaller-sized clothes, cross my legs, not feel like people are judging me because of my weight, feel comfortable meeting new people, etc.”
• The more I label and accept dissatisfaction, the easier it will become. The more I struggle against not being able to eat whatever I want, the worse I’ll be in the short-run and long-run.”
• Every instance of accepting dissatisfaction (“Oh, well”) is important and I deserve credit for accepting it.
• There’s nothing wrong with feeling dissatisfied. It’s nothing you need to “fix.”

And you’re not alone. Millions of people feel dissatisfied every time they go shopping because they’d like to buy things that they can’t. Maybe you do, too. They usually adopt an “Oh, well,” attitude. “Oh, well, I’d like to buy that bigger television but I don’t have enough money.” They accept the fact, and move on.

It’s the same with food. “Oh, well. I’d like to eat more but I can’t, not if my goal is permanent weight loss. I might as well accept that fact, and move on.” In the long run, to avoid chronic dissatisfaction, you may need to learn how to appreciate what you do have, especially non-tangible things such as family, friends, work, health, spirituality, fun, and so on. After reminding yourself of these things, immediately get busy doing an activity or task you’ve planned in advance to engage your attention elsewhere.

Never give up

I have been a slacker on posting, but I read a great article on the ups and downs of weight loss and here is some things to tell yourself when you weigh-in:

If I've Been Following My Plan

•It will be nice if my weight is down today but it's fine if it's up.
•Look where I am today compared to where I started!
•If it's up, it doesn't necessarily mean I did anything wrong and if I keep following my plan, it will come down again, until I hit maintenance.
•History has shown me that the number definitely goes up and down.
•I don't need to worry unless my weight goes up and continues to go up for several days in a row.

If I Haven't Been Following My Plan

•Okay, my weight will probably be up today and I will probably feel disappointed.
•I need to make this an "Oh, well," experience. "Oh, well, I don't like the fact that my weight is up but I need to accept it-without criticizing myself-and get problem-solving oriented."
•It's impossible to lose weight without making some mistakes along the way.
•Let me figure out what led to my going off plan-especially the sabotaging thoughts that got in the way-so I can avoid the situation in the future.
•If I get right back on track now, following my eating plan and using all my Diet Solution skills, I'll lose weight again.
•If I use this weight gain as an excuse to give up, I may never achieve the advantages of weight loss-feeling better, being healthier, etc.

(Now go read my list of reasons to lose weight and ask myself how important each one is to me.)

Muscle cars

So everything is going much better. I got a newer car and I think my bf is on the road to recovery. I didn't weigh myself for 2 weeks, mainly because I didn't want another thing to stress me out or put me in a bad mood. I am glad I didn't because my weight stayed basically the same. I wonder when I am going to trust myself and realize that as long as I keep exercising that I can keep my weight stable. I have been consistent with trying to at least do the bare minimum (3 x a week) with exercises. I also started a resistance/weight routine which I try to do 2 to 3 times a week. I need to add some muscle, and I know that takes time. I read that most women with consistent weight training can gain at maximum, 2 pounds of muscle every 6 months. I think that is great, and even 1 pound of muscle I would be grateful for.

Life good or bad

I haven't posted in a while. I have had some personal issues that have kept me from posting....and stress contributed to it. I have to say I haven't really been watching what I eat or exercising as much as I think I should. I have really slipped and need to get back on the horse again. I think that stress is hard for me personally to deal with. I actually don't know that I am stressed sometimes until I notice that my eating gets out of control. This is what has happened.

I have to say this week feels a bit less stressful already. I hope that I can get myself to stay stress free for at least this week, if not month. I am actually able to pay off one of my credit cards this month..so I think that deserves some congratulations to myself. Bravo..good job, your awesome!

Cars

So my shocks on my car broke in half yesterday while I was driving it home from work. I am going to fix it for now, but I desperately need another car. It is kind of stressful to be without a car even though my bf and I work pretty close to each other. Anyway, I hope that this stress will dissipate a bit so that my life can go back to the normal calmness that I once had. I lost a little this week, but seem to be stuck again in the 186 range. I have been working out 6 days a week for the last 4 weeks, so I hope to keep it up. I feel so much better and it is a great stress relief.

Weights

I have been lifting weights again this week. I plan to embark on 12 weeks of weight training to see if my body fat percentage ends up dropping any. I know that if you do what you always do..you get the same results. The 5 days of cardio with one weight training session just wasn't working for me. I was hoping I could drop more weight by doing all that cardio..but I just didn't. I am slowly creeping up. I hope to put on enough muscle so that I can have a little more leeway once in a while. I would not mind if I kept the same weight and put on more muscle..but I would rather drop weight and put on muscle..if that is possible. I can only try to see what happens. I do feel the weight training and I am sore most of the time. I look at working out now as something I need to challenge myself on more. You have to keep changing things up and you have to keep adding more weight to get better results. I guess I got stuck with my workouts, but that is so easy to do.

Money, Economy, Anxiety...it all sucks!

There is just too much going on in the worldwide economy and my own personal economy right now. I will be feeling the pinch of the economy soon in my own job and I gotta tell you it really sucks. I feel a sense of anxiety coming to work everyday. I so wish I could stop all this financial crisis from happening. I also have to stop listening to NPR, because it is super depressing. Yesterday they had more about Maddoff and had his victims talking about how they are surviving...and it is not well. These are people who were once pretty well off. It is so sad.

Anyway, I have decided to turn some of my anxious energy into something more positive. I am going to weight train more and up my protein consumption to try to decrease some of my body fat. I have body fat of an obese person according to my body fat scale. This is not something I am proud of, but I think it is a result of my liquid diet I did years ago. I lost so much of my muscle and I don't think I ever got any of it back. I also hope that this is a channel for my anxiety. I just can't take being so anxious anymore. I need to burn some of the energy off. If I am tired, I won't have energy to be anxious right? A win win as far as I see it. I will keep you updated.

Is it Friday yet?

It is Wednesday. I came down with some kind of stomach flu this weekend, which really sucked! I wish I could of enjoyed my weekend more. Anyway, I made up for not eating that much this weekend yesterday. I was so hungry and hot I had to stop for ice cream after work. There is very little ac at work and the ac in my car broke so it is super hot everywhere. I am a bit annoyed by it. Life is more enjoyable with ac in your car. Oh how I dream of a newer car with air! This week it is 90+ degrees and humid.

So I am reading a new book that I will post a review on as soon as I finish it. I am almost done and will probably finish it tonight. I am still hovering around 185 with my weight. I am hoping to start seeing lower number soon, but I didn't exercise much this week, some of it because I was feeling ill.

Friday

It is Friday and I am feeling good about my eating and exercise habits once again. We have gotten back to cooking and things feel less stressful. We went to the dog park last night and walked around instead of laying on the couch! It was super hot and humid but so much fun. I didn't even feel that tired afterward. It is so weird how you can be exhausted after work and think that you can't do anything....then you do something and you have more energy.

I am a little bummed because I forgot my beloved iPhone today. I so wish I could go home and get it. It is such a huge part of my life. I never thought I would be so attached to a phone. I just hope the day goes by fast because I need my phone and I also need the weekend.

Weekends and sleeping and relieving stress

I haven't been around for a while. My life got a little to busy. I was also super stressed. I finally feel like I have had some relaxation time. I did a "Healthy Paws" walk this weekend with my friend and our doggies. We only signed up for the 2 mile walk, but then realized how short it was and decided to keep going and do the 4 miles. It was fun but I was exhausted, mainly because I got up at 6 a.m on a Saturday. After that the bf and I just had a nice relaxing day and ordered pizza for dinner and got 2 movies off of pay-per-view. It was great.

It is Monday and for once I didn't hate the idea of coming to work. I think I needed some down time. I also went for a 4.5 mile interval walk with both doggies last night. I couldn't believe the puppy made it. She ran almost the entire time and was super cuddly and sleepy afterwards. Of course they were both super energetic this morning! I guess I didn't push my older dog to far.

After Memorial Day weekend

I took some time off around Memorial Day and I was busy. I did not get to sleep in at all and am really tired today. I can't stop yawning. Anyway, I have been trying to get my weight down, but I had a bit of a gain over memorial day. I had a good time with what we ate and tried my best to be as active as I could be. I am hoping for a short week this week! I am taking off to go golfing with the bf on Friday. I hope the weather is nice. I hope I can find some things to post about today.

Have to make permanent changes

I haven't been posting much at all lately due to stress and being busy. I also just can't seem to get a handle on my eating...and not to blame others, but I have been invited and been the host of too many eating get togethers. I love that Monday is Memorial Day and I get an extra day off from work, but I am hoping I can make some better choices with food on those days. For a belated Mother's Day that we hosted this weekend we made her a chocolate cake (her request) and we just finished it for leftovers. I have been eating a piece everyday with ice cream. This is not a big help with losing or maintaining weight! I also have the added bonus of TOM this week, which also makes my appetite a bit crazy.

I went to the doctor for my annual physical yesterday and I asked her if it is normal for my appetite to increase with an increase of my hypothyroid medication..and she said I shouldn't have a larger appetite. It is weird because when I started the more than double amount of medication to re-regulate my thyroid my appetite went up bigtime. I went from not having much of an appetite to a huge one..eating probably double what I did before. Is this just all in my head? I don't know, but I hope I can get things together once again. A big note to self is that having a healthy lifestyle takes dedication and permanent changes.....permanently!

Not having money does suck

I am happy that it is Friday again. I had Wednesday off, but the week just felt long to me. Anyway, I hope to get a workout in after work today. The bf is going home to let the doggy out so I can eat lunch here and leave at 4. I want to promptly go home and jump on the treadmill for a half hour. I just haven't had the motivation to work out that much this week. I have been doing a lot of yoga because I have been trying to use up my package. It has an expiration date and if you don't use them you loose them.

I also think about how great it would be to join the Y. I would love to have more variety in my exercise..but I just don't have the money. I need to pay off my debt and then get another car...so I feel a little hopeless that I will never have extra money to join. It is kind of expensive to join the Y unless you have a large family. I also have joined gyms in the past and didn't go much. I have been taking a new route home from work to avoid the traffic jam...and I drive right past the Y. Wouldn't it be nice.

A permanent lifestyle change

I am a little disappointed that I have to weigh in tomorrow. I am going to a baseball game tonight, a party with one of the bf's clients. Of course I am going to eat things I shouldn't and of course I will be eating a dinner full of processed foods, preservatives and probably trans fat. And to add to all of this...my weight will probably be scary tomorrow morning. I am considering a skip on the weigh-in this week..but is that just being in denial or saving me the bad feelings about it?

I also have the day off tomorrow to get some service done on my car...so I just may skip the whole weigh-in just this once. I hate saying or doing it because I am scared that it will lead to me abandoning my weight loss efforts completely. I like being this weight and I am not going to gain! I just have way too many fears because I have gained the weight back before. Uggh, I just need to rebalance myself..and hope that my motivation returns.

Can't I just rewind?

I do feel that my interest has waned in losing additional weight. It seems that I have just not cared about losing..and am just trying to maintain. I know I said this before, but I think I just had too many changes at once in my life. I am still trying to get used to the new office location, the thyroid (not regulated yet) and the puppy. These are not bad things and the move and puppy have enhanced my life in many ways...but I just cannot seem to work up the motivation to start up a weight loss program again. I am hoping in the next month or so I will work up some more motivation. I have to really want to do it and that drive is just not there.

My goal is start jogging more..but what I really need to do is watch the sweets and the portion sizes. It is the food that is really getting me. I am just plain and simply eating too much.

Weight maintain

I maintained my weight this week but did not lose like I wanted to. I did exercise 5 times this week so I am proud of myself for getting that in and doing my farthest distance this week on the treadmill. I once again need to lose. I am up a lot more than I want to be, so I would like to get down...as well as lose another 10 pounds. I have always wanted that. I really wonder why it isn't happening? I do need to get my thyroid levels checked soon to see if they are in normal range. I have not gone back since my bad level was checked and I needed more medication. I can't believe it has almost been 6 weeks that I have been on the new meds, but I have a lot less anxiety and feel a lot better..so my suspicion is that it is regulated. But I don't know for sure.

Nothing else really all that new except for puppy is in her 12 weeks stage of terror. She was actually quite good last night, I hope that lasts.

Friday, finally.

It is Friday..finally. It is supposed to be 80 degrees today! That would be our first 80 degree day, and I am stuck inside at work. I do plan to go home for lunch and let the puppies out, but I would love to be outside today. Anyways, this week has started out well for exercising. My week starts with Wednesday and I exercised on Wednesday (instead of yoga), and yesterday. I plan on taking this evening off because we usually eat dinner and go grocery shopping on Fridays. I know we lead a very exciting life..but I have to say I really like it. It allows us to have some good meals on weekend and not go out to eat, like we are sometimes tempted to do. It is all about our healthy lifestyle change and eating out is not very healthy..or we rarely pick a healthy choice.