Monday, March 31, 2008

It is only a target

In the past couple of weeks I have been seeing more and more that weight watchers points are only a "target" for what you should be eating. It even says in the their journals I buy (they are nicely designed), "Daily Points Target". I do not pay for weight watchers, but have in the past.

Anyway, when I was a member of weight watchers at work..I was a perfectionist with points. I don't think this was helping me achieve my weight loss goals and I failed, but with other contributing the foot thing and meeting bf. I feel much more healthy about my eating now and I think that has contributed to my success. If I want want want another candy bar, I have it. Going 5 points over for the day will not make me gain 20 pounds back, that is only 250 calories.

I can get away with adding more, but with the catch that I have to excercise. I hardly excercised the week I came back from vacation and added points, (21 to be exact over) and maintained my weight. It takes 3400 calories to equal a pound and there is about 50 calories in 1 that only equals 1,050 over if I ate 21 more points..not nearly the 3400 it takes to gain a pound.

This logic has been invaluable to me..because it has made me less of a perfectionist and more of a balanced eater. I am not sure if this philosophy will take me to another 20 pounds...but it works for me now...and giving up foods I love that make my lifestyle change easier are not worth being super skinny. I am just aiming for healthy.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Lost my desire for ice cream

When I look back on my life and think about the food I ate a lot of, I would have to say it was ice cream. I remember when I lived in my apartment and would eat a whole frozen pizza followed with the biggest bowl of ice cream I could fit into the bowl, every night. I think now about what I like to eat and ice cream hasn't been in the equation.

I go to TCBY sometimes, but mostly only once a week..if that. When I was a kid we always had ice cream and I always ate it, everyday. This was also true for most of my adulthood. I like that I don't eat much of it now, but wonder how I lost such a fattening habit? I wrote a post about it hurting my stomach..and yes it does. Why didn't it bother me then? Was I just used to it?

The last time I went to TCBY, I ordered the pb yogurt with peanut butter cups...and it didn't taste all that good. I know it wasn't spoiled or anything..but I think I have lost the taste for it. I threw away most of it and thought, I would of preferred a candy bar. Anyway, I find this highly interesting. I was so obsessed with ice cream for so long...I guess not eating it made it not part of my diet, so my body learned to go without it? I hope I never go back to eating it so much again..but I probably will.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Geneen Roth

I wrote a while back that I read a book about eating what you wanted in order to overcome your food obsessions. I found the book and the author, it was Geneen Roth. After reading her book "How to overcome emotional eating", I started eating pop tarts for breakfast and tons of sugar including flurries and candy bars all day. I thought hey if this is what I want and I will overcome this eating problem by eating it..why not? No, not so good. That was the beginning of gaining back the first 10 pds. of my weight loss with weight watchers.

What reminded me of this book was the Paul McKenna stuff of TLC. See my previous post. He is a big rip off of Geneen Roth and basically stole her "eat what you want" idea. I watched the second part of the series on TLC last night from tivo. He introduced some tapping acupuncture that would redirect your mind off of food. This was not something in Geneen's book though. I did the tapping thing along with him in one of the parts. I have to say I wasn't hungry or craving anything at the I don't know if it would work, but I think that this approach isn't the right thing for me.

Don't get me wrong...this may work for some, but I am the personality type that had to be told what to eat (5 fruits & veggies, milks, etc.) in order to know how to eat. I was never really told nutrition basics. I also would use any excuse to not exercise....and the fact that he hasn't mentioned exercise kind of alarms me. He has paraded many of his success stories without all the info...I think this leads people to believe his "3 golden rules" are all they need to be successful, when that isn't entirely the case with most people. Anyway, I will keep watching it just because of curiosity.....but I wonder if he will ever bring up exercise?

I'm back, been busy

I just had a four day weekend with Friday and Monday off, then the bf and I bought a new mattress that was delivered yesterday so I didn't have a chance to blog yesterday. The good news for this week is I lost 1.8 pds! Finally, something other than maintaining.

I got back into the groove of working out again this week, just like I did before vacation. I also journaled and tried to watch my portion sizes. I really think working out is the magic to weight loss, when I don't work out, I don't loose. I usually just maintain, probably because I eat every extra flex point and most of the time go over a bit....but the exercise helps me to burn enough calories to start losing again. It also makes me feel great.

Speaking of feeling great, I feel great today. I love our new mattress...I thought it might take some time to get used to, but I slept awesome and I didn't want to get out of bed because it was so comfy...the bf was the same way. We had a really old bed before that my bf got from his mother when he was 24 (he is 33 now). So it was really old. The guys who delivered the mattress to our house made fun of it. They said "Are you sure you can't get more use outta this?"...funny.

I also did yoga last night for the first time in a long time. I feel really good and stretched out. I have to say I was not as flexible as I was before and my down dog really is suffering. I need to start going again.....perhaps that with the mattress is why I feel so good. I was feeling down last week, but I have recovered and feel much happier. The weight loss is extra!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

4 day weekend

I am lucky I work for a catholic college because I get a four day weekend this weekend. I don't have to work Friday or Monday. I am hoping to have some nice down time to do some things for myself. I want to paint and read and do some home decor shopping...and take my dog for a groom and a is supposed to snow tomorrow though. :(

Anyway, I am in such a better mood than I was on Tuesday. I think it is great how I snapped out of it, and I definitely do not suffer from depression because I never have more than one bad day in a row, unless something bad has happened to me. I got my hair cut and dyed yesterday..not sure if I like it, but I am not sure I care all that much.

I worked out this morning and yesterday morning and that makes me feel good, like I am on the right track. I am hoping I do a lot better this week than last, especially with the weights. I have been slacking big time on them and I know they are beneficial to keeping my muscle mass even while I loose the weight.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008


Well I managed to maintain in my first week back from vacation. I have to say it has been one of my harder weeks. I don't expect to jump right back into losing again...especially with the exhaustion that came from this vacation.

I know now that I will go on vacation every year and I will need another week to adjust to being back. That just might be the reality of it and that is okay. As long and I do go back to what I need to do to be healthy and get to a healthy weight, that is all that matters.

So I am starting fresh again this week and hoping to get back on track. My goals are to do my cardio in the morning before work Monday thru Friday, with 2 weight days and 1 yoga day. I only lifted weights once last week, which was below what I wanted to do...but I seriously needed a break.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Alone day

I stayed home from work today because I just needed some alone time. Sometimes being around people and the bf gets too much and I just need to be alone. I am not feeling my usual self today, and am getting a bit run down with the exercising..or maybe just sick of the constant feeling of having to forgo something else I want to do in order to have the energy for it. That is why doing it in the morning is a good thing for me, and I have to get back to that.

I painted this morning, which helped a little..but sometimes you just feel blue and are unable to get motivated. So my quest for today is to do some things for myself. I weigh in tomorrow and will let you know my progress. I can actually say this week has been the first week where I really do not care if my weight is up or down a couple of ounces. Hoping this isn't a bad sign.

Monday, March 17, 2008

I can make you thin?

Did anyone watch the series premiere of "I can make you thin?" It was an interesting new show on TLC at 9 p.m. last night (Sunday). He started with his 4 golden rules....1) Eat when you are hungry 2) Eat what you want 3) Eat consciously 4) Stop when you are full. These are all fairly obvious things, which he admits...but if you were to watch just that one show, I don't think you would loose much weight. Maybe he will go into how you should eat fruits and veggies...and how you should exercise? His site is here, if you want to check it out here.

Also, I read on WebMd an interesting article about sugar. Once again, conflicting advice about if you should eat before exercising in the morning.....uggh. Anyway the article about sugar and some really good explanation of simple and complex carbs is here. I think this is a helpful article.

Anyway, I didn't do super bad this weekend. We made healthy meals and did not go out..which I didn't even want that is good. Just grocery shopping and cooking and spending time with the bf. I am still finding it hard to do 24 pts. I allowed myself 28 on Saturday and Sunday because I blew through my 35 extra points by Friday. We shall see what happens on the scale on Wednesday. Still considering trying 28 pts a day to loose the remaining 10 pounds.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Back on track, really?

I exercised this morning and did my usual times..but it seemed harder than before vacation. I wonder if all that casino smoke I was in filled my lungs with char? Or just the week break from working out made me lose muscle.

Anyway, I feel like I am slowly wanting to go back to eating healthier (and exercising). For some reason when I came back I wanted all my favorite it because I was gone? I have to say I missed my own cooking and the food available here in GR. It wasn't bad food on the cruise, but it was just different...and I am not sure if I am a person who likes a ton of variety. I kind of stick to the same kinds of things. I eat the same cereal every morning and love it, it is always so satisfying. I look forward to it.

The weather here is finally nicer. It is sunny outside and that has definitely improved my mood..besides being away. The ice cream monster is still out in my head though....sunny must equal ice cream to me. As I have stated many times before, it is hard to go back to 24 points again. I want to loose another 10 pounds, so it is a necessity for me to get back into eater smaller portions again.

I keep thinking about how badly I want to get the rest of my weight off....but honestly I don't know if I can lose another 10 pounds after that. I am not sure if I am up for the torture of continuously cutting back for another 10 pounds.

How do people loose hundreds of pounds and not go insane? The first 15 pounds were so much easier to loose and I think that kind of plays with my head. You think it should be easier. Losing more than 20 pounds is tough for me and I know I have to be more determined to lose the additional 20. Perhaps after this week I will take a 28 point break again..but will that make it harder to keep going back? Will I get used to it again? Wow, I am starting to get glad it is Friday.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Lifestyle changing

I am finally feeling more of myself today. I stopped rocking back and forth..a nice change from the last couple of days. I started back on 24 points yesterday, and I ate probably about half of my extra points yesterday. I was doing really good but kept having these cravings for ice cream. I went to Macy's and they have a yogurt stand there so I got a pb yogurt with chocolate chips. I have to say it was good, but the yogurt was melted into almost liquid and was not the smooth and fluffy yogurt I was craving. I ate it, but felt unsatisfied.

I continued to do all my errands, but still wanted more ice cream. I really thought that I was going insane or something because I just had a cup of yogurt...but I let my temptation get the best of me and stopped at TCBY on the way home. I got a pb cup flurry there. It was a small, but was not small at all. I inhaled the whole thing then left the store. On my way home I felt super bloated and uncomfortable. I started to worry about my eating habits. I started to think that I couldn't do this lifestyle change anymore...and what if I gained it all back? I was in a panic.

I then got my common sense back into my head and thought to myself a) I did not go over in points b) I can't gain back 20 pounds in one day c) This craving will end d) I can still change things tomorrow. Why do I do this stuff to myself? I don't know. The last time I gained back the weight the same thing happened and I let my anxiety lead me to put the weight back on.

So I had a bad week or so....I need to just start journaling tomorrow and try to get back to my regular exercising. It will happen, I have come too far to give up.

I also just finished my second 3 month WW food journal and looked up how much weight I had lost in 3 months and was a little depressed to find out I had only lost 6 pounds. I then had to snap myself outta the pity party and remind myself that losing weight is good no matter how long it takes you to loose it. At least I did not gain and I got healthier. I can't worry about the number so much.....this is not a race or a comparison against someone else...this is only for my own benefit. I have to stop myself from stressing too much. It was not this hard before vacation, and nothing has changed. I just need to re motivate myself!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I'm back and trying to get back to normal routines

I am back and yes it was so fun and I had a great time!

However I still feel a bit off. I did not get sea sick, but I did have an allergic skin reaction to the spa facial and massage I had during the cruise. I was in the infirmary of the ship for an off day getting an IV of saline and steroids (my face blew up like a balloon). I also followed that up with 3 days of Predisone. I have been so hungry for the last 3 days....I guess this is a side effect from the Predisone, according to my boyfriend's mom who is a nurse. I am trying to cook and get back to normal with eating...but it has been a bit of a challenge.

The good news is that I weighed myself today and have only gained .4 pounds despite eating what I wanted and only exercising once on the ship..and not journaling. The treadmill on the ship was an experience....almost fell off a couple of times. I still feel like I am rocking on a ship for some reason today....especially at my computer and driving in my car. I wonder when it will stop? I googled this and found that this is actually land sickness.

I went to four destinations in the Carribean...Half Moon Cay, St. Thomas, Puerto Rico and Nassau. I went to Atlantis in Nassau to the water was sooo fun and I am glad I was in shape to climb all the stairs for the water rides. My bf and I took lots of pictures. I am proud of myself for losing weight...but somehow I still seem to look so fat in photos, will I ever be happy with myself?

I can say I wore shorts the whole time and felt great. I wore my swimsuit sometimes all day and did not feel too self-conscious. It was just when I looked at the photo's of myself yesterday that I thought...I am still chubby, I still look fat. I still need to loose a lot more...and I am going to! I am re-motivated to get to my first goal of 175 now. I exercised this morning and will continue to get back to my routines. I had a great time and now I just want to get back to normal. I need to remember this post when I am depressed because my life is the same every day...