Thursday, March 13, 2008

Lifestyle changing

I am finally feeling more of myself today. I stopped rocking back and forth..a nice change from the last couple of days. I started back on 24 points yesterday, and I ate probably about half of my extra points yesterday. I was doing really good but kept having these cravings for ice cream. I went to Macy's and they have a yogurt stand there so I got a pb yogurt with chocolate chips. I have to say it was good, but the yogurt was melted into almost liquid and was not the smooth and fluffy yogurt I was craving. I ate it, but felt unsatisfied.

I continued to do all my errands, but still wanted more ice cream. I really thought that I was going insane or something because I just had a cup of yogurt...but I let my temptation get the best of me and stopped at TCBY on the way home. I got a pb cup flurry there. It was a small, but was not small at all. I inhaled the whole thing then left the store. On my way home I felt super bloated and uncomfortable. I started to worry about my eating habits. I started to think that I couldn't do this lifestyle change anymore...and what if I gained it all back? I was in a panic.

I then got my common sense back into my head and thought to myself a) I did not go over in points b) I can't gain back 20 pounds in one day c) This craving will end d) I can still change things tomorrow. Why do I do this stuff to myself? I don't know. The last time I gained back the weight the same thing happened and I let my anxiety lead me to put the weight back on.

So I had a bad week or so....I need to just start journaling tomorrow and try to get back to my regular exercising. It will happen, I have come too far to give up.

I also just finished my second 3 month WW food journal and looked up how much weight I had lost in 3 months and was a little depressed to find out I had only lost 6 pounds. I then had to snap myself outta the pity party and remind myself that losing weight is good no matter how long it takes you to loose it. At least I did not gain and I got healthier. I can't worry about the number so much.....this is not a race or a comparison against someone else...this is only for my own benefit. I have to stop myself from stressing too much. It was not this hard before vacation, and nothing has changed. I just need to re motivate myself!

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