Sunday, December 30, 2007

Vacation almost over

It is Sunday and I am getting to the end of my Christmas break. Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. The party we were supposed to go to got cancelled because of a death in the family. I don't think we are going to go anywhere or have any temptation to deal with. We went full grocery shopping for healthy foods. I haven't been doing much of anything, mainly because I lost my bank I have no money to do anything.

My boyfriend got a toaster oven for Christmas and I have to say it is the most awesome thing. We have been toasting everything and everything seems to taste better toasted. I have never owned one, but now I am sold on them. It is making me enjoy my 1 pt. bread much more than I was before.

Anyway, I have been good and eating within my points range since the day after Christmas. I actually wanted to eat healthy because I felt so bad eating like crap during Christmas. I have gotten back into exercise also. I think it is hard to get back into your habits after you have been bad..but I did. Letting myself let loose and just go for whatever I wanted seems to have worked for me. Maybe that is the key. That is something I have never done while trying to loose weight before. I believe that I have changed for the better with food. But I am still not convinced of its permanency.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Holiday blahs

I am lucky to have this week off and not have to work until Tuesday. My boyfriend on the other hand had to work this week. He came home early and is napping now because he is so exhausted from cooking for 20 people, twice. I slept in today and it felt like heaven. I got up ate my high fiber breakfast, relaxed a while, went for a jog on the treadmill and generally had a good day. I am going to make spaghetti for dinner with lots of veggies to help fill the extra stretch I got in my stomach from eating so much for four days in a row.

I did get a great yoga mat for Christmas that I would love to try out, only they are not open until after the 31st. I have to say that I might be having a bit of the blahs that I am fighting.

Christmas keeps you busy and is exciting because of the presents. After Christmas you kind of have a down time because you have no money and you have to pay the consequences on the scale. I am 190 again and I fought hard to get past it. The only good thing I can say about the holiday eating is that I really do not have any cravings for anything. I got my fill of about everything I was craving. The only thing I didn't have was ice cream. I have to say that I think I might be allergic to ice cream because now when I eat it it hurts my stomach. That reason alone is why I stay away from it. I have to say that ice cream has always been my favorite sweet treat. When I gained back my 40 pounds I really think I gained it all from the peanut butter cup flurry. I went to the ice cream shops in the summer and ate a huge one everyday. I couldn't get enough of it. Although it still sounds good, I won't be having that for a while..and if it keeps hurting my stomach I might have to give it up entirely.

So, I am going to continue to try to loose weight and get healthy..but I have to say the obsessing about it is starting to get a bit tiring. I guess I never wanted to be one of those people that made weight loss their first and only priority in life. I want to exercise and eat good, but I don't need it to be all I think about or all I talk about with people. I am realizing that the lifestyle changes I made don't need to be bragged about, they should just be part of my healthy lifestyle from day to day.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Day after Christmas and a Weigh-in day

Well, I pretty much ate whatever I wanted for the last four days during Christmas. I could not keep track because it was so much food at so many different Christmas parties. I got on the scale today and I was 1 pound up and back to my beloved 190. I do not feel that I was deprived of any food at all during Christmas. I do feel that my stomach is now used to much more food than it was and I have been finding myself to be pretty hungry today. I plan on doing an hour of excercise, because I pretty much stopped doing that too. It is funny how outta your routine you can get. I will be back posting regularly on Tuesday the 2nd, for now it may be a bit sporadic.

So I am onto a New Year's Eve party on Monday...and hoping I will do well with is only 1 day right? Merry Christmas, Happy New Year.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

189 and 3 Christmas parties...

So I got to exactly 189 this morning. I got past 190, I am so excited! Then I remembered it is Christmas this week and I have 3 parties to go to and all with food. I even have shortbread cookies dipped in chocolate from my co-worker sitting on my desk right now. Ugh. I ate 3 already. They are luscious butter goodness.

On Friday my boyfriend and I are going out to Thai food with his mother, another uggh. I love Thai food. The upcoming week is starting to sound like a food nightmare. It scares me a little, but what can I do? Christmas only happens once a year and it sounds really hard to calculate the points for everything. So my game plan has to be in effect. I am going to try to portion control. It sounds like a good idea, but I am wondering how I am going to pull it off?

My boyfriend told me just to take a couple of bites and if it tastes good to stop eating it. Whaa? How and why? That has always been so hard. I think I will only eat what I want and if it doesn't taste good I am not eating it. He has the worst diet advice, but always thinks he is right. I know he is just trying to help. My winter break starts tomorrow and I am excited that I don't have to come into work for a while. I will still try to blog on the weekdays if I can, so I will let you know of my struggles. Until then eat, drink and maintain.

P.S. I went to Weight Watchers store today to get a new 3 month journal. They gave me a points bracelet, which I prob. will never use and a snowflake. They do some hokey things there...after the lady gave me a snowflake she said "Don't flake out this holiday"...weird huh? Oh well, maybe they think that stuff works?

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

It's one of those weeks

Yes, I am not having the best week so far. I am off for Holiday break on Thursday and I can hardly bring myself to come to work at all this week. I have been getting up late and not exercising in the mornings. I feel lazy with no energy, what is wrong? I think the weather or the lack of sunshine might be getting to me. It is dark and dreary outside. You would think I would be in a great mood knowing I have time off and with Christmas coming....but I just feel, blah.

Last night I did an hour workout, which I could hardly get through. I got through the weight training part, but when I got on the treadmill I felt lightheaded and weird. I had to just walk at a slower pace because I could not keep up at my normal pace. I of course got on the scale today and it said my favorite number: 190. Oh yes, I am becoming fond of 190, but come on body! Another weird thing about yesterday was that I was not hungry during the day at all. I guess this was a good thing because I had more points left to eat in the evening, but it is still strange because I usually am super hungry all day.

I hope I don't sound like I am complaining. I have been losing some weight in the last couple of weeks, but it is hard to take the reality of 190 for another week. I wonder if I will have to? We shall know tomorrow.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Do plateaus exist or I am just eating too much?

I am determined to break my 190 plateau this week. I have been hovering around 190 for the last 2 weeks. Is this a plateau or is it in my head? I think it is in my head.

Why? I think I may of eaten a little too much last week. I had a bit too much of peppermint ice cream and choc. chips and marshmallows. I thought I had accounted for these splurges, but I don't think I really did.

I now recall eating almost an entire bag of chocolate chips last week and not really counting it accurately. I cut myself off this week from buying either of them and got rid of any lingering amount left. I would snack on choc. chips or marshmallows when I wanted a treat after dinner, instead of having a dessert. I would just count 2 points for it and call it good. What I thought was just a handful probably was more like a cup, etc.

So I have not done that this week, so I will see how it goes on Wednesday. I am trying to not have too much excitement over food, but the boyfriend said we are going for Thai food on Friday. Yeah! My favorite food is Thai and I have not had it for about 6 months. I feel like Homer Simpson with a donut, YUMMM.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Don't feel too bad today

It is Friday, and I am in a good mood and not starving. This is the first day since Sunday I can say that. I had 2 servings of beef broccolli stir fry last night and I think that really helped me. I made a goal this week (and all the weeks before) to spread out my flexpoints more and not eat most of them by Friday. In doing this I unleashed a very hungry stomach that was used to a lot of food on least that is my theory.

I am taking a half day today to get Christmas shopping done then meeting boyfriend at Panera and see "I am Legend" movie. Hopefully I am not too exhausted from shopping by then. When I get tired, my will to be a better eater vanishes. Cheers to a good weekend!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Pizza and I am hungry

It is 11 o' clock here and I am starving already. I had pizza yesterday for lunch. Did you know that papa john's large pepperoni pizza has 7 points a slice? I had 2 slices and that was 14 points. I was alarmed by that, but of course I had the flex points for it. I of course wanted more than 2 pieces, but I realized after I ate 2 that I didn't feel that great. So in an effort to not feel like crap, I quite eating after 2. I also tried to have a smaller dinner to make up for it. I really want to do well this week and get under 190.

I am not that enthused with my lunch today, so I think it is always a shame when you really want something different than what you have. I think this feeling will pass, but it is the holidays and winter so the comfort food cravings are starting to kick in. I am craving fried chinese food once again. I jogged this morning so I am proud of myself, but I think this may make me extra hungry.

I continue to just take it one day at a time and get through the holidays without going too crazy. The cruise is a perfect motivation for me to keep going and pressing on and I won't let myself forget about that.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Just a .2 pound loss :(

Well, I did loose. Anyway, I had some ice cream issues earlier in the week...darn peppermint ice cream! So I am hoping I can get into the 80's next week. I watched the Biggest Loser last night and am still amazed at how they loose so much in a week. I think it is a miracle if I loose 2 pounds. I bet they do not eat any sugar or refined carbs....although I do see them going to Subway. I am glad Neil got voted off because of the water logging thing he did.

I really would like this week to be over with already. The weather hasn't been the greatest this week and it seems I have not been able to put a dent in the work I have at work. What else would I have to do if I didn't work...hmm. I would probably shop. That has become an issue for me lately. Clothes actually look good on me now and I have more of a variety. I haven't indulged in buying the things I want because I know I do not have any money...but I think I may break down soon! During Christmas there are so many parties and you always need stuff to wear. I just can't go overboard.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

15 pounds and people are starting to notice

I had to blog again today because 2 people stopped me in my office building and told me that I look great. Well, one lady said "svelte" and the other said "slimming down." Anyway, it is nice that people are noticing. I was so proud of myself after losing 10 pounds that I thought everyone would notice...and they didn't. That bummed me out a little, but I think a lot of people wouldn't notice 10 pounds. I find that after losing about 20 pounds...people seem to comment a lot more (at least they did in my other weight loss attempts). I wish it wasn't that way because I need the positive motivation when I am first starting to loose more than any other time. It is nice to finally get the comments.

I am also a bit happy because I got a $40 gift card to Starbucks from my boss. I am severely addicted to lattes and I can drink them anytime of day. I was thinking about all those celebrities that always drink Starbucks. For some reason, I think it is one of the best treats around.

I am trying to cheer myself up and distract myself because I still am feeling pretty stressed out from trying to get my house sold and money and the strain it causes in my household. I know people say that money can't buy happiness, but it sure would make me happier right about now. What is the saying, you can never be too rich or too thin. Well, maybe you can be too thin. Until tomorrow.

Cold weather and carbs

I read an article today on FitSugar that in the shorter days of winter most people do not get enough Vitamin D because of the lack of sunshine, so what do they do? They eat more carbs to release more serotonin to feel good and replace the lack of sunshine. I also saw something on Oprah recently about living in the midwest/northwest about lack of vitamin D. So the conclusion on fitsugar was just to excercise more. Not sure if that is the most common sense answer to most of us..but I think it is good advice.

I will excercise more and....I take the Viactiv vitamins (because they taste good) and the Calcium chews, looks like to get 100% of Vitamin D I have to start eating 2. That is not a problem, they are caramel flavored and taste good. Calories are 20 each. So zero points for 2. Lets see if this makes a difference at all? Next week I will probably read on MSNBC that taking vitamins are bad for you, I always feel there is conflicting information (especially on that site) for healthy lifestyle changes. I really think they need to somehow find more neutral positions for reporting this stuff.

So anyways, I can't predict my weigh-in this week because it is technically not Wednesday...but I think I may have a maintain week. Who knows though, right? I just hope for less stress and look forward to the week and a half break I will be getting soon. Hope I don't get too bored. I am thinking bored may be good for me.

Monday, December 10, 2007

A case of the Mondays..

I love that line from Office Space. Anyway, I am slowly still gearing up from the weekend to do some work, it is 12:15. I just got done eating lunch and looking at all the websites I look at and putting together a x-mas list.

So last night I overdid it some on Edy's peppermint ice cream. I think it is light because it is 130 calories, 4.5 fat....but it was so good I couldn't stop eating it. I went a little over on points last night by 3. I got on the scale to see if I had done too much damage...and perhaps a little so I am trying to be good today and tommorow for my Wednesday weigh-in. I don't really even like peppermint ice cream any other time of year, I usually am just a vanilla fan. It is strange that I ate a cup and a half of it. I also ate less dinner so that I could have a cup of it..but I didn't stop there...I ate another half cup at least from the carton. I never do this and usually throw ice cream away because it gets crystalized.

So I am fine, I messed up a bit. All I can do is get back on the horse again and keep trying. In my x-mas list I listed a dress that I wanted for the cruise. I put XL on there not thinking...then I looked at the size charts and my measurements...I am a Large, not XL. How easy it is to still believe I am fatter. That reminds me of the show I watched last night.

Did anyone watch the 476-pound teenager last night on BBC America? It was fasinating to me. She had gastric bypass surgery but was still dealing with the same psychological issues after it. I wonder why they don't help more with counseling and that surgery? Anyway, I think Oprah did a show about that too.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Blogging during the Holidays

Ok, I don't want to be a trader to my fellow diet bloggers..but it seems that most of them are not posting or just posting a little. I know the holidays are stressful and busy, but I think I need to blog because of that more. I also am new to blogging and do not have a super busy schedule or kids. I am just whining because I miss their blogging :(. I miss reading about their adventures in the world of food and excercise. I hope it returns to normal soon, they motivate me so much.

So onto the fact that it is Friday and everyone seems to be in a bad mood around me. I am in a fine mood, but ready for the weekend. I forgot how yucky snow is, and how cold it gets. I never want to get up to excercise in the mornings lately. I did today though, so I am proud of myself. The bed seems a bit more cozy when the air is cold then it did before the winter. I miss nice weather already.

Yesterday's dinner was lean hamburgers and oven fries. I was super hungry when I got home from work yesterday and could not wait to eat dinner. My boyfriend always makes 4 burgers and of course I grabbed 2 because I thought.."I have the points for this." So I sat down and ate one burger, then had some fries and realized I was full and could not eat the other burger. I haven't been eating 2 burgers for quite some time, I just was hungry and had the points for it so I thought that I would have 2. Why do I revert to old behaviors when I have extra points? I don't get it. My doggy got the other burger, and she was happy. I just cannot eat as much as I used to be able to. I think my mind hasn't caught up with that yet. Hopefully it will soon, because eating just to eat is not a good thing. I gotta get my mind retrained.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Wednesday to Wednesday

I pretty much recap my weeks from Wednesday to Wednesday, since my weight watchers points are recalculated then. So this is Thursday, and I already feel bad that I haven't gotten a weight lifting day in yet. I will jump back on the weight lifting horse again, but sometimes it bothers me that I am not working out more. I have great weeks where I excercise for an hour a day almost every day, then I have weeks like this where I skip a couple of days. I don't blame myself, I have been busy meeting with realtors and getting my hair cut. I got home from my hair cut at 7 p.m. last night, I usually don't do an evening workout until 8 p.m. anyways...but I didn't want to last night. I have to be okay with that. But I didn't eat dinner until 7, and I let myself get too hungry and I ate 20 points over into my newly renewed flexpoints. Oh well, right? that is what they are for...but oh how I like to save them for the weekend.

Sometimes I think upping your excercise level sends your body to shock mode. I think it doesn't know what is going it makes you loose, but then makes you super hungry. Perhaps I should go half and half on the jogging. Perhaps I can do a couple days walking and a couple days jogging to help my body adjust. I think it was a bit of a shock to it. Not sure if my body likes that kind of shock.

So anyway, with my struggles from Wednesday to Wednesday I hope I can take it easier on myself, not put too much pressure on myself to get under 190 and just take it slow and steady. I always secretely say that saying to myself "slow and steady wins the race."

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Lost 2 pounds!

Yes I lost 2 pounds this week. I will thank the new level 2 treadmill chip for it also. I have to say that the workouts are really hard on it, but I will just adjust them until I can do them. I have to do them on zero incline currently.

I am a bit surprised to finally see 190 on the scale. I have been seeing it for the last 3 weeks on Saturdays, so it is nice it finally made it to my actual Wednesday weigh-in. I am a bit pumped now that I could possibly get to the high 180's by next week. I really want to be in the 80's, it is so cool to drop a weight bracket. The next bracket will be really exciting...but I am happy to be where I am at for now.

I did yoga last night and it did wonders for me mentally. I was sooo stressed yesterday and the night before. Savasana was like! I felt almost drunk when I left the place. I also slept like a baby. I felt great this morning and did a level 2 program. I read a great article from Martika on MSN Health & Fitness about how you should have something to eat or drink before excercising in the morning, and I have to say it really helps! I usually do not have energy to jog in the morning.

So my day is going well so far, hope yours is too!

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Stressful Season

I don't like to get myself stressed out for any reason...I always try to remain calm, but the one thing that can stress me out like nobody's business is money and the money I stand to loose to sell my home in this stupid economy and living in Michigan.

Does stress make you loose weight? Currently, I am not overeating due to stress, but I do usually stop excercising on those super stress days. I guess I can't get my energy up enough to step onto the treadmill. It takes energy to be stressed so I can see why you would eat, your burning more calories just being in a stressed state aren't you? Anyway, stress is not healthy I can feel it wearing away at my body and health. And it makes me so tired and really cold. Excercise warms me.

So after a very stressful couple of weeks I am trying to get myself to unwind a bit, (jez I just had a massage last week Friday...what is up with this)? The holidays cause stress only for the reason that I have to buy people gifts that I cannot currently afford. So I just keep trying to manage and be nice to myself and remind myself that this will get better. I think I will go to yoga tonight to try to calm my mind. Namaste.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Another week, another month, another hunger issue

It is December. I always get a bit weirded out when a new month begins because it feels as if time is going by way too fast. It is also Monday and I am sitting in my office finishing my lunch. A sandwich and zero point soup. The thing I kind of feel deprived about is that with 24 points I can only have one larger meal a day. Well, maybe two. I of course have the larger meal at dinner and I have a pretty big breakfast also. My co-worker is in the office next to me and she made something with cheese that smelled amazingly good, like mac and cheese or something. It makes me excited for have extra points. I have to meet with a realtor tonight and am a bit upset that I won't have time to work out. I also ate all the rest of my 35 extra points yesterday. I always seem to eat more on Sunday. So I am left with just 24. I think I am quite full now, but it still doesn't make me stop complaining about this for some reason.

The intoxicating aroma of rich foods are too much for my nose and stomach to process today. I finally got my level 2 excercise chip for my treadmill and I have been jogging for the last 4 days instead of walking fast. I went from burning 250 calories a half hour to 350. Could it be the extra calories I am burning are making me extra hungry? Yes, but I am having some trouble getting past the 190 point so I only count 2 points for the excercising...even though I am burning an extra 100 calories. This is the same excercise points that I counted before at 250 calories. I really do not get how these are calculated...perhaps I can find a site explaining it or my huge masses of readers can tell me? :)

I do know the weight watchers sliding scale thingy tells you how many points based on might take me more effort...but how much effort is normal or average? I am not maxing myself out so I don't think that my excercising is much more than moderate. So strange..they should have a burning of calories range or something based on weight. Oh well, maybe the scale will be nice to me this week and let me loose weight. This is my hormonal I am crossing my fingers.