Thursday, December 18, 2008

Merry Christmas

I had a good nights sleep last night and I feel good, but maybe it is because this is my last day of work and I have a break until January 5!! I also have way too many cookies on my desk. So anyway I am taking a break from my blog, it may be until January 5th, but I may get bored and try to sneak in some posts before then. I really need the break and I am going to paint our bedroom. I get excited about good changes, especially decorating. I just wish I had more money to do more. One day I will have the whole house the way I want it, then I will probably want to change it again. So Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to anyone who is reading or passing by this blog.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Starting to want the holidays to be over...really badly

Oh yes, I knew it was coming...a gain. I ate way too much yesterday, and that contributed to being back up. So all I can do once again is write down what I eat this week, and exercise as much as possible. The whole journaling food thing really helps me and I did not do it for the majority of last week. I have this week to bring things down and hope that Christmas doesn't blind side me. I will eat what I want in moderation, but I cannot go on a free for all. I know that I will gain if I do that, and I don't want to gain.

This Christmas has been a lot harder than last Christmas. I have relaxed a bit on my eating. I know I can't get away with doing that, but it is a struggle. I have cookies from a co-worker sitting on my desk right now...and more will be coming tomorrow. It is so hard not to eat them and it is so nice that they make them for me. I will honestly be glad when Christmas and New Years is over, because then people won't be contributing to my food problem. Not that it is at all their fault, I put the blame on myself.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Furnace down

I got home last night to discover our furnace was not working. It is super cold in the house, so cooking is not happening. We had hot dogs last night, but it is Tuesday and the day before my weigh in day..and I don't really want to eat out. I had a hard enough time already this weekend...I hate when things like this happen. I am hoping we can find the part to fix it today and get it to warm up the house tonight. It was one of the coldest days yesterday here...I think it was 10 degrees or something like that. Anyways, I can feel the stress coming upon me again. I really just don't want to be stressed right now. I need more time off...I wish Christmas break was this week..and not the next.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Too much

I have to say I had a little trouble this weekend with food. The month of December has been a huge partyfest for me. I did not plan for this, but how can you? So many people are asking us out for dinner and I am not able to choose the place. I really cannot believe that so many restaurants here still don't have healthy options. I went to a local place to eat with the family on Saturday night, and out of no healthy options opted to get a grilled chicken sandwich. I ordered it w/ no mayo and they put a crapload of mayo on it anyway. I managed to scrap most of it off, but still. I felt bloated and stuffed after I ate it. I kind of think it was swimming in butter to. They had no salads and their special was ribs, which everyone else got with fries. I did eat some fries too..and they were probably the greasiest fries I have had in a long time. I am afraid to weigh myself and I am hoping for an okay number this week. I also had the bf Christmas party with heavy heavy appetizers on Friday, then the bf talked me into the Chinese buffet on Saturday. Uggh, too much crap.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Tired so tired

I am super tired today. I did not sleep last night due to a stomach ache. I woke up at 2 a.m. and couldn't get back to sleep until around 5:30 a.m., then I couldn't get up for work and arrived 15 minutes late. I am still tired after my morning latte. I am thinking I need to take some time. I am definitely off tomorrow, but I am even thinking this afternoon. When I am tired I eat a ton more to compensate for the lack of energy. That is why I try to take it easy. I also need to find a dress for the bf's Christmas party tomorrow. I thought I could wear jeans, but then he told me I couldn't. So I have nothing that fits me to wear. I have summer dresses that fit, but no winter dresses. I am so tired that I am not in the mood to shop. Yaaawwnnn.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Feeling hungry today

Okay, I did loose a little this week..but I am kind of tired of posting the little ups and downs of my weight. I am doing quite well maintaining and I just want to keep up with what I am doing throughout the holidays. Also, if you want to be added into this blog for comments...please don't include links and please do not solicit weight loss plans, or your comment will not be posted.

I am glad it is Wednesday mainly because I get Jimmy John's for lunch. That is my weekly get out lunch and I love the Turkey Tom w/ no mayo add cucumber. We had an ice storm last night so the roads are not very driveable. I am glad that JJ's is practically around the corner. Can you tell that I am hungry? Perhaps I need a snack. I like the feeling of hunger because it means I am operating on the energy my body needs....but then again it is really uncomfortable. A survival mechanism I know. I don't have much to blog about I am going to cut this short.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


I have been stressed for the last couple of days. Drama at work, the weather and the holidays have made me exhausted. I didn't exercise last night because I was so exhausted. I know it is the best thing to do, but I don't know how people exercise when they are really stressed. It is currently freezing rain outside and the boiler is broken here, so it is kind of cold in this office. I am doing a countdown to Christmas and it just seems like it cannot happen fast enough, even though I don't have people's presents yet. I plan on exercising tonight, then taking it easy and going to bed early. Next week is my last full week of work, then I am off for Christmas vacation...yeah! I plan on painting our room, unless I get really lazy. I really want to put some effort into making our room special, and it gives me something active to do during the break.

Monday, December 8, 2008

The month of December

I had a really fun weekend, filled with a lot of food..but isn't that what December is for? I had some strange notion that December would not be a hard month for me. Where did I get that idea from? I have parties every Friday until Christmas and they all involve food. I am trying very hard to eat small portions, but when it comes to the desserts...that goes out the window a bit. I love the desserts at hopefully I can get my fill and then I won't crave them ever again. Yeah, right.

Anyways, I thought I would make a conscious effort to exercise this month...but that hasn't always been that great either. The last 2 weeks, I haven't been at my optimum amount. I will keep trying..and my goal is maintenance only this month, and I am confident that I can do that. Secretly I still want to loose...but who doesn't? I hope after Christmas I will get the motivation to go crazy and loose 20 pounds...but I would be happy with 5. I also asked for ice skates for Christmas, which I think is good exercise. Perhaps I can start doing that for a little extra activity this winter. I wish skiing wasn't so expensive...and no one will downhill ski with me. I must find a ski buddy. I will start looking.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Getting ready for weekend

It is Friday and really snowy outside. It took a lot longer to get to work today. I am going to a surprise party tonight for a friend and I hope it is a lot of fun, but I do have to go to it in a lot of snow. What shoes to wear is my only question? I want to wear my Ugg boots because they are so comfy and warm, but I may dare to wear less of a shoe based on wardrobe. I have a lunch today to go to and snacks and drinks tonight..I hope I don't go overboard on either one of them. The bf also wants to go to the china buffet on Saturday, then we have to go to his grandma's for a nice fatty dinner. Too much eating this weekend! I did not plan on this fork in the road, I just need to remember to eat small portions.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Guilt not related to food...finally

After last night, I think I could easily replace eating with shopping. I went to the mall to get Christmas presents and to look at things I want for a list I make for the bf. I have to say that this is dangerous for me. I find things to buy for myself and I always make an excuse to buy them..such as "nothing fits me", "that has a hole in it", "I gave that to Goodwill"....all that stuff. I must stop myself. I have to cut myself off. I have bought too much and now I am looking for stuff to take back in order to make myself feel better (and stuff I don't think I will wear). The real problem is that I finally look good in just about everything. Not a problem..but a problem for the wallet. Then I turn on the radio or the TV or look on the Internet and see that several thousand more people lost their jobs this week. How can I not feel bad, awful and guilty for shopping when others don't even have jobs?

I am going to make an extra effort this year to give more to food banks, goodwill, and anything I can. I hate that this is happening and people have to suffer. I really hope that America can turn this around. I hope Obama can make a difference in inflation and help Americans live more equally with less poverty.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Up .2 after thanksgiving

I guess the jogging I did on Sunday and Monday helped me not gain a lot of weight this week. Whew, .2 is fine...even though I wish I didn't gain at all. I think I should try to up my cardio workouts this month, unless it starts to feel torturous. Sometimes I get lazy and don't want to jog and would rather walk. I know walking is good also, but for this month I probably could use the extra calorie burning of interval jogging.

My stress level lately has been amazingly low for this time of year, but I did get stressed out this morning because of work. I hate it when I let stress bother me, but I feel better now that I have had some alone time at lunch. I was suppossed to go to a meeting, but being with a lot of people seemed like too much for me. I think I am a true introvert.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

A little fall from grace

So last night was a tough one for me. I have to say I haven't been going to bed as early as I should. Perhaps this has an effect on my eating...or I went crazy. Last night I tried to have a lighter dinner and then found myself digging into the sweets. I ended up eating rf cool whip (leftover) with chocolate graham crackers. I ate the entire package of crackers. I kind of don't feel that great today and I went about 4 points over...(I am guessing). I really need to stop with the sweets. I tried to compensate for it by doing a 45 minute super walk and jog. I have to say I am a little scared again to get on the scale, but I know I can get it off. I just have to keep up the exercise and try to get my food under control again. I threw away the cool whip, even though there was a lot I wouldn't do that again.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Had so much fun

I totally had a really fun weekend. I did go a little crazy with eating, but isn't that what holidays are for? I guess I enjoyed it so much it is hard for me to feel guilty. I haven't weighed myself, but will on Wednesday. The guilt might hit me all then. We had a crazy amount of leftovers, and ate them almost everyday..with pumpkin pie. I love pumpkin pie. That might of been my favorite thing the whole weekend...that and the spinach dip I made. I did get so sick of thanksgiving leftovers that I begged the bf for pizza. It was delicious. I think with all the time off that perhaps the holidays are for going a little overboard with eating. It is really hard not to. I thought I would just eat a ton one day, but I ended up eating a ton for 3 days. I also have TOM this week to weigh in I am not thinking this weigh in will be all that great. I just have to get some good work outs in because I didn't exercise either. I will just try to get back on track now and try to get back down. That is all I can do.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving

I am down for the week by 1.4 pounds. I was wishing for more, but sometimes you have to suffer a little to realize what you have done to yourself by having some not so good eating weeks. I hope I continue to loose this week, but with thanksgiving and all if I don't loose I am fine with that. I just hope I don't gain. I intend on doing yoga tonight followed by house cleaning. We are having thanksgiving at our house so major cleaning like mopping and dusting need to be done. It is fine if it isn't perfectly clean though. I just hope I am not too tired to clean some tonight. I actually feel quite rested right now..but that could just be the shot of espresso in my latte. I hope my boss lets me out early!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


So yesterday was a light day at work for me. I went and got my hair cut and dyed dark..a little too dark for me, but it is demi-permanent so it will wash out a bit. I am trying not to dwell, and the bf really loves it. I have been a little disappointed in the numbers I have seen on the scale lately. I have lost since last week..but it isn't where I want it to be yet. I know I have to keep at and it is kind of impossible to loose 4 pounds in a week. I have been kind of hungry though, which is kind of sucky too. I forgot about the "being empty" feeling of trying to loose. I had it once in a while lately...and when I first started losing I had it all the time. I have to somehow learn to get used to it again. I guess I understand why people may take diet pills..perhaps it is so they don't feel that feeling so much? I have to say I don't like it, but it is a necessary evil. And I just say no to any diet pills. I don't agree with them because they are expensive and not good for your health. I would only think it was okay to take them if I was morbidly obese.

So anyway, that hungry feeling seems to always get in the way of my progress. There is only so many fruits and veggies you can eat to take it away a little....and then I end up getting a sour stomach from it. I dream of the day when I am at my goal and at maitenance. Even though that is hard as well.

Monday, November 24, 2008


It is Monday and a 3 day week! I guess I can get over my slight grumpiness for a 3 day week. Anyway, things are going well and I have picked up my exercising this week to my normal routine. I feel so much better and realize that I have to pull the reigns in more heavily during the holidays because there is just so much more temptation. Even if it isn't a holiday can convince yourself to eat just because it is the season. I have 3 parties to go to and I am not going to feel bloated at them....I am going to keep things in line the best that I can. And..I am not going to beat myself up if I slip up a little. I can do this, I have done it before. And feeling good and good about yourself is worth a lot more than a brownie is to me.

It is snowing right now. So far we have yet to have had snow that sticks around, but I have a feeling this will. I wish I could say I am ready for it, but I really don't want it..given the state of my car.

Friday, November 21, 2008


Okay, I am not freaking out anymore and feel much more sane again. I think I needed some extra sleep or something. I am trying my best to get my extra weight off and reminding myself that it just takes some time. In time my weight will go down again. I don't need to panic or stop eating my flex points...I just need to exercise again and write my food down.

Today started out stressful, but it is getting better. The fact that it is Friday is the best reason of all to be happy. We are going to see Bolt in Imax 3D on Saturday and I am so excited. We also are going to the Chinese buffet..uggh. I am saving my flex points for that this week. I love it, but I always end up eating too much of the fried stuff and not enough of the fresh sushi that is there.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Freaking out

Ok, I have officially gotten to freak out mode about my weight gain. I ate quite healthfully yesterday and I got on the scale this morning to another gain! I know it is probably water weight gain...but come on body! I only had 1 flex point yesterday and I did yoga and WiiFit. I hope this will all be over soon, and just a distant memory of a time of too much water weight.

So because of my freak outs I got up early this morning and exercised on the treadmill for 30 minutes. I went to bed early last night just so I could get up and do it. I really need to buckle down and start being more strict with my journaling and exercise. I am starting to scare myself! I really want to stay around 180 for the holidays and not gain! After that I want to start losing again. These are my goals and I am sticking to them. My body just needs to cooperate.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Weight gain :(

Yesterday was Tuesday and I weigh in on Wednesday mornings. I weighed in today to find that I have gained 2.2 pounds. I am not happy about this, but I have to say I did not have a great eating day yesterday. The power got cut off at work so we were able to go home early. I stopped at the store to get ingredients for a veggie soup I was making for dinner..and my eyes saw chocolate covered cashews....and I went for it. I love nuts in chocolate especially lately....which has never been a vice of mine before. I was also experiencing some anxiety issues (not sure why). So yesterday I overate and it was reflected on the scale this morning.

I am also guilty of not writing down what I ate this week and totally knocking off exercising. I didn't not exercise...but the time and intensity of it was just not there. I ate cake and chocolate on the weekend with no mind to how many calories I was taking in. I have to say I totally deserved the weight gain...and I am NOT happy about it. I must get this under control.

Last night I was watching a tivo'd show on Discovery called "Extreme Bodies: Super Obese" and it had so many facts and figures about weight gain & loss that it made my head spin. I have never seen such an informative show on obesity before. It is a bad and crazy cycle to get yourself into. Your body can become so efficient at keeping fat that it becomes near impossible for some of these people to keep their hunger under control. I didn't believe that these people couldn't help themselves..but I believe that their bodies are fighting against them to keep the weight on. I have no idea why a body would want to keep an extra 200 pounds though? I just don't get that.

So I must fight against my body to get this 4.4 pounds off...and I wish Thanksgiving wasn't around the corner, but it is only one day! I should be okay.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


I have been a little excessive lately, but I have to say that it really made me happy. I have been eating what I want and not really writing it down and shopping for extra things for the house...even though I should be saving because Christmas is next month. I guess I felt like, it is my birthday and I can spoil myself a little. I am not sure if that is a good reason, but it felt like it was. I bought a new comforter and sheet set and it is so nice and comfy, it is even harder for me to get out of bed now! Forget working out in the least at this point. I blame my new comfy bed for not getting up to workout...yada yada yada. Man I can make myself believe just about anything. I guess that is a normal human personality can talk yourself into just about anything. At least I know I am in partial denial..right?

Anyway, back to reality. I really want to buckle down and eat right this week. Nothing all that special is coming up this week and I just really want to get to a lower weight before thanksgiving. I really don't have any extra leeway...and I don't want to come out of this month gaining 5 pounds that I can't get off. I did the WiiFit last night and I had my first over 40 fitness can it change so much in a day?

Monday, November 17, 2008

Birthday was great!

My birthday was pretty awesome, the bf got me some great gifts and flowers and a cake..I felt so spoiled it was just the greatest! Anyway, one of my gifts was the WiiFit. I wasn't sure about the WiiFit, I kind of wanted it..but knew it was hard to get...but he got it. It is so much more fun than I thought it would be! It is also more challenging than I thought it would be. I have been getting on it everyday..and it is my new favorite thing. I just love it.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Pre-birthday post

I won't be posting tomorrow because it is my birthday. Anyway, things are getting back to normal after my illness and I worked out at full capacity last night. I am so glad to be well and I can taste food again. This is good, because when I was ill I reached for sweets because I could actually somewhat taste them. I kind of thought it was a waste, but it got me through the illness. I have read some articles that state that large amounts of sugar lowers your immune system..and that perhaps could be why I got the cold in the first place (other than the co-worker being ill). I have not gotten sick since March, and that was an allergy related problem.

It has been raining and dark here for the last couple of days and will continue to be throughout the weekend. This is kind of depressing and it makes you not want to go outside, but I guess it is better than snow. I was kind of hoping to take my doggy to the park tomorrow and Saturday..but the forecast is rain. Poor doggy, she needs some exercising.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Down .6

I lost .6 this week. I am fine with that since I did not exercise much this week. I am hoping in the next couple of weeks to get back to 180. I think fluctuating between 180 and 182 for the holidays would be ideal for me right now. After that though I want to start working harder at getting off about 10 pounds. I think I will always have a goal of losing 10 pounds...I wonder if that is good or bad? Is it bad to always want to lose another 10 or is it not accepting yourself? I really don't know...or perhaps it keeps you wanting to continue to live healthily?

Anyway, I am hoping to get in some more exercising this week because the WoW Burning Crusade came out and the bf is binging on it, so I have more time to myself. This might be a good thing to get in more exercising and take the doggy for her last remaining days at the dog park. My membership runs out on Nov. 19, so no more happy doggy until next spring. I hope to brave the cold and take her on a couple of short walks during the week in the winter..if I can handle it. It gets really cold.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

More normality

I am either feeling better or I am getting used to being stuffy. It is nice to feel more normal. I lifted and did cardio last night. I got a little stuffy after the treadmill...which I took it easy on. Just 20 minutes at low intensity. I think I will just ease my way back up to more time and higher impact. I felt proud of myself because I always try to lift at least once a week, and I got it in. I have been waiting to weigh myself until tomorrow, so I don't know where the weight is exactly. I am hoping the same or lower than last week....but I just don't know. I decided once a week is fine for weighing..I used to weigh myself every day, and I just freaked myself out too much with it. Everything I read says once a week is great. I am gently easing back to my routine. The good news is that my clothes still fit great. I plan on doing a lot better this next coming week..except for this Friday, it is my birthday..and I will be going out to eat and getting an ice cream cake from TCBY. This is my tradition, and I would never think about not eating cake or ice cream on my birthday.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Getting better

I am a bit better from my cold, but not fully recovered yet. That was a bad one! I haven't gotten that sick in a long time. I kind of forgot what it was like to be sick..and I have to say it still sucks! I did not get any exercise in this weekend, and the bf and I were not feeling well enough to really the eating and exercise was not great for this week. I really wanted to rebound back to 180 quickly...but I think it is going to take a bit longer. I got sick and ironically right after Halloween. I really want to get back on track.

My birthday is this Friday and I will be 34. I don't feel 34. Anyway, I have hopes of not gaining too much this week.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Feeling ill

I have a cold and I stayed home yesterday. There is only so much loafing around and sleeping you can do without going a little nuts. Anyways, I haven't been sick in about a year and a half, which I am grateful for because it really sucks to be sick. I kind of blame my sugar consumption a little for lowering my immune system, but the co-worker I share an office area with is sick and I am not sure I could of avoided it.

Anyways, I don't have much of an appetite but am making myself eat because I know what happens if I don't. Once I feel better I start eating like crazy. I try to achieve some balance even when I am sick. I just try to choose healthier fruit smoothies or better breakfast items like oatmeal and eggs. I am still not feeling great, so this is a shorter post.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Up .8 and making a fresh start

Okay, so I weighed in today and I was .8 up from last week. I was thinking that I gained about 1 to 2 pounds, so this falls in line with it. I am now 2.8 pounds up from what I like to stay at, which is 180. I am going to take the next couple of weeks to try and get it off. I know I also have to figure in a little for TOM I am hoping that the 2.8 pounds will come off fairly easy. I also hope that one day I will stop beating myself up for the times of the year where I have weaknesses for food. Halloween and Christmas..I decided are the biggest times of the year for me. The other times I usually don't go too overboard. I think this is only because I don't have any fondness for regular food..except for maybe pizza. I like regular food, but I don't care for fast food or greasy foods or overheating home cooked meals. My big problem (that everyone is aware of if they have ever read anything here) is sugar. I love sweets, and that is where my diet goes wrong. I was craving sweets hardcore yesterday..and some of that is TOM also. I didn't really give in too much, especially in the evening..I had a healthy fruit smoothie.

I also did a google search yesterday to see what I could do to stop myself from wanting sweets so bad. I did a hypoglycemia test and rated somewhere around 61% positive for it. That is crazy. But there is no medication or anything for hypoglycemia, just eating every 3 hours or so and trying to balance out your blood sugar. I did see a nutritionist before and she told me that I may be hypoglycemic also. This scares me because I have type 2 diabetes running in my family and I am really scared that I am going to get it. This is a big reason, besides vanity for me to keep exercising and balancing out my diet. I still want to loose at least another 10 pounds, but being at 180 seems maintainable for me...or perhaps it is that set point theory coming into play? Perhaps I could maintain just as well at 160 or 170..if I could only get there. Anyway for now, maintaining is my best bet with everything coming up. My birthday is next Friday, then Thanksgiving...then a bit of a break and Christmas and parties and New Years...then perhaps another look at losing another 10 pounds. I like that plan and think it is easily doable.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Go vote and try to skip the treats..if you can

I voted earlier today, so I am glad I got that over and done with. I was thinking about something on my way back to work after voting. Various companies are giving away food and drink for voting...which they did get in trouble for, because apparently you can't make someone vote to qualify for the free item. Anyway, why is it that I and apparently others think they deserve a treat for voting? I seriously thought about driving out of my way for crispy kreme today..but then I stopped and reminded myself it is Tuesday and that I can wait until tomorrow to indulge myself in something. I did get a tootsie roll for voting and it made me want more sugar. I just had a crapload of Halloween candy and I want more sugar? Eating sugar (for me), makes me want more sugar..until I am eating sugar everyday and not fitting into my pants. It is a vicious cycle for me and I am struggling with the leftover Halloween candy lurking around my office. I still want to eat massive amounts of candy. I must come to my senses and get back on track. I might have to go back to having a candy bar a day again until I get over this. Why is sugar so good?

Monday, November 3, 2008

Not feeling so good

I did have a good weekend, but a crazy one. I ate more candy and pizza than I should of and then followed that up with a full thanksgiving dinner at the bf's moms house on Sunday. Wow...I still feel stuffed. I went more overboard than I should of and on Saturday was ridden with guilt and concern about myself. I was fully aware of shoving candy bar after candy bar in my mouth as well as pizza after slice of pizza..but I did it anyway. I am not sure if I eat for any other reason other than that I enjoy eating...

I find it strange that people are often trying to label themselves with a condition for eating, but I have to say I just like eating...and I am well aware of what I am doing when doing it. All I can do now is try to take the next couple of weeks and try to get it off. I also have TOM this weigh I am thinking it might be an overwhelming large gain. I must remind myself that the week after this will be better...and try not to freak myself out!!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Halloween eve

Tomorrow is Halloween! I can't believe it. I am taking the day off from work to watch scary things on tv and to relax because I probably will stay up all night, so no post. I do love Halloween because I like watching scary things on tv, although they are never scary enough for me. I had a little bit of a funk yesterday afternoon for some reason...I think my back ache finally had really gotten to me, so I left work a little early. I may of been really tired also because I went and got Jimmy Johns for dinner at 3 p.m. and brought it home....then ate it at 4 p.m. and followed it up with a warm delight brownie w/ ice cream. I went about 15 points over yesterday, but on a good note..I am not super hungry today.

I am a little bummed that I ate so much yesterday, because I really wanted to save all of my flex points for Halloween. I couldn't wait until Friday..really? I sometimes disappoint myself, but hey that is the acceptance that I can't always control everything I eat and I am going to have slip ups now and again. I have to accept it, because otherwise it leads to beating myself up..and I refuse to do that. So I am going to still enjoy what I want for Halloween, with a little moderation.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Freakin for no reason

Well I maintained this week, which I am really happy about. I was freaked out..but why can't I just trust myself that I won't gain 5 pounds in a week? Dang it...I totally freaked myself out, for basically no reason. I put some jeans on that had just been washed a couple of days ago and they were I think some of it was freaking out about that. But come to think of it, those jeans are always tight right when I wash them. My fear/anxiety of gaining back weight needs to somehow be more controlled. I know better, I really do. I think because I have gained it back so many times before that this anxiety is warranted. But how can these crazy thoughts actually help me in my life? They can't...they won't...and I need to let them go.

Anyway, I love being the size I am. I rarely feel like a big fatty and my pants fit. There is nothing wrong with that. So I am going to just try to maintain my weight throughout these holidays. That is all, just maintain. When I feel motivated and ready to try to loose again I will.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Changes in weather and moods

I had a hard time getting out of bed this is so dark outside, and that is zapping my energy. Anyway, I have been having some panic attacks about my weigh in on Wednesday/tomorrow. I am scared that I have gained a lot of weight..even though I know it is not possible to gain a lot of weight in a week. I just feel heavy..and have felt heavy the last couple of days. I really need to shake myself out of this. I also have been having a hard time motivating myself to exercise.

Last night I went to bed super early and didn't exercise because my back was still sore and I just felt exhausted. So exhausted that cooking dinner was a chore, and I really did not enjoy it. I usually do somewhat enjoy cooking dinner. I wonder why I am in this weird funk..and I need to somehow get myself out of it. I really think fall is pretty...but it is really bothering me this year. Maybe I just need to take some vacation is hard to predict what you need to do for yourself in these situations. It is really hard to always live a healthy lifestyle, especially with changing seasons.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Achy and eating

It was a long weekend and I was very active in eating and activities. I am not expecting to see great a great weight on the scale this week. I ate so much on Friday and Saturday, that I could not even begin to count my points. I really tried to ease off of the sweets, but there is something about being around family and friends that makes me eat constantly. I don't always have this same problem when it is just me and the bf. Even around people I don't know very well, I can eat larger quantities.

On another front, my back is killing me from sitting on the floor and carving pumpkins for 2 hours on Saturday. I can hardly stinks and it very uncomfortable. When you have back aches you can definitely feel your age! I am hoping I can relax a bit tonight and feel better.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Crazy weekend coming

The computer network at work has been down for most of the day, so I had time to talk with some co-workers I don't see very often because I am almost always in my office working. Anyway, 2 of them told me that I look really fit and healthy. I was very happy about that. I did mention that I wasn't at my healthy BMI yet, but they both said that that didn't matter..and I don't look overweight. Weird, but very nice to hear. It made me feel good that sometimes people notice...and it isn't all about the bf (like yesterdays rant post). I was going to get up this morning and work out..but I was yet again all warm and cozy. I bought some extra blankets for the bed and that made it way to coddling to get out of.

I am taking tommorow off because I have a very busy weekend. I have a halloween party to go to on Friday night with tons of food and treats..then we are going to the apple orchard to get apples for pie and cider and kettle corn. I think this weekend will be a bit tough with points, but hopefully I can get in some good workouts.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Weight gain, weight loss

Okay I am officially the biggest yo-yoer when it come to weight. I just continue to go from 180 to 182 and cannot get out of this cycle. I was doing it before with 184 and 182..and perhaps I should be happy that I lost those 2 pounds..just it is tough..and this is a lifestyle, I always remind myself. It doesn't help that the bf has wasted away into super-thindom either. He cannot wear any of his pants, they are so sadly baggy. Family and friends go on and on about him being anorexic and all that stuff...and I can't help but to feel like shit about my weight loss efforts because they are so overshadowed by his. It is like people didn't even notice that I had lost weight. I will quit being a baby now, but it is just not fair!

Anyway, I am going to try to make my food choices a little healthier. I am going to try to eat a protein and a carb for a snack, 2 or 3 times a day. I have included nuts and seeds also into my diet...even though they are sickly high in points, but from things I have read..very good for you. I ordered a new book from Amazon and will let you know my thoughts about it after I read it. It is pretty much about healthy eating. Anyway, I have been down the path of re-gaining weight on WW before and I will not gain the weight back again! I need to make some different changes to make my diet healthier and include some more healthy fats in...that WW does not emphasize. I hope this change will make a difference in my diet and my sweet cravings...because what I am doing isn't working all that well for me right now.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Changing breakfast

So yesterday I surfed the web a bit about sugar cravings and read some interesting things. I decided to make some changes to my breakfast because I always eat the same thing. I didn't think anything was wrong with this for the longest time because I really enjoy my cereal...anyway, I am going to eat something different for breakfast every 3 days. So I can have my cereal one day, oatmeal the next, maybe a smoothie...and eggs and toast or something. Anyway, it apparently is not good to eat the same things everyday. I was really only doing it with breakfast..but still, you need different nutrients every day. I had simple harvest oatmeal today. It is tasty, but didn't fill me up nearly as much as my cereal. It was 1 point less with ff milk...but maybe I need to eat 2 packages? I guess I am used to a bigger breakfast.

I might swing by the store to pick up some bread because I haven't been eating it lately..or english muffins. I know I can eat a different breakfast every 3 is not that hard. Next week I may introduce other more protein into my snacks. I think 1 change at a time is a good place to start.

Monday, October 20, 2008

I have no answers

I have really dropped the ball on exercising this week. I just didn't feel like it yesterday...and Wednesday I had a hair cut and went to see a friend. I have to say I don't feel all that great and had dreams about exercising last night. I think that is strange. Anyway, I intend on lifting and doing cardio tonight. The nice thing is that we have leftovers from the party we had yesterday, so I don't have to make dinner tonight.

I had a crazy weekend this week and ate way too much movie popcorn. I don't usually eat popcorn at the movies, but this weekend it tasted really good to me. We also had a Rockband 2 party yesterday and I ate a lot of chips. Total salt crazy weekend for me! I usually eat more sugar..but this weekend salt. I don't know what I am going to do with my weight loss goals. I have hit a wall with 180, and don't know if I am motivated enough to get past it. My body must really like being this weight because I can loose one week and gain back up the is really like a see saw in a way. I just don't get it, but as the Holidays get closer...I think I should go back on maintenance...but that is what essentially I am doing now. I don't really know what to do anymore....guess I have to think about this more.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Ice cream scares me

I am a little sad that the ice cream shop by my house closed. I got reliant on going there when I wanted a little light ice cream because I cannot bear to keep ice cream in my house. I know that if I want to eat it I should by it and all of those things..but the truth is that it is just one of those things I should not be trusted with. I will eat it and eat large amounts of it until it is gone. I did overcome my candy thing though..and I have had candy in the cupboard that I haven't touch in months...perhaps I should throw it it good anymore? Or I could give it out on Halloween. Anyway, my last hurdle to overcome is having ice cream in the house. I just, okay..I am scared to have it in the house. I am scared of it. What happens when I really want it though? I guess I will have to go to TCBY. TCBY is good and all..but it gives me a stomach ache. I think it is the yogurt cultures they add back in now. Anyway, advice on this matter would be welcomed.

Thursday, October 16, 2008


It is weird to be really busy. Last night I went to the other side of town (where I used to live) to get my hair cut and colored. I usually can go to the mall and just look around at things...but this time I had to get to my appointment, then go visit my friends who bought my home. I ended up being there pretty late...and really did not eat much yesterday. I got home at 10 and was in bed by 10:30....but I have to say I was starving. I thought it was a little late to eat, so I didn't..I woke up starving for breakfast this morning. I am okay now...but it is weird how when you get busy you forget to eat. Perhaps I am not busy enough..but I like not being busy. I think this will change if we decide to have a family. It is nice to not feel stressed or overly stimulated. It was actually hard for me to get to sleep last night because I had been talking non-stop to people, and my head was spinning. I am not a huge people person, so it kind of drains me to be social for long periods of time. Anyway, I am still trying to do the 5 points a day until Saturday...and I have extra to use on one day because of yesterday, which is a nice surprise. I guess I may be getting to the point where everything isn't about food or what I am going to treat myself is a nice feeling.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Lost that 3.4 pounds

Hooray, I lost that pesky 3.4 pounds I thought I had put on last week. TOM is very strange and I think I was retaining a lot of water. I am happy to be back to my lowest weight of 180 so far on a weigh in day...I saw 179 all week a bummer it did not carry over. I couldn't post yesterday because I had a doggie emergency. She was sick and needed to go to the vet. She has gastrointestinal parasites...she is on meds and has to eat beef/chicken/turkey with white rice for a couple of days. I made a big batch of doggie food yesterday for she is all set. I hope she gets better soon! I was so worried about her.

So I have to admit that I keep having these fantasies of being 175 or 170 or in the 170's lately. I really want to drop, but I know it will take some more work..i.e. working out. I didn't do as much working out this week as I wanted to, I was about an hour and a half short. I just will try to do better again next week. Oh and spreading out the flex points with the 5 on Wed., Thurs., & Friday worked really well for me. It was great to have more freedom on the weekend. I hope to be able to do that again this week.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Things are better

I did really well at saving my flex points for the weekend this week. I had a really nice treat fest on was so much fun I have to keep saving them! I was down in weight from doing it during the end of the week...but after yesterday I am probably leveling up a bit in weight. The snacking has really helped me not want to have a lot of food in the evening on the week days. I wish I would of done the 3 snacks a day thing sooner, I was doing it way back when...but I didn't honestly realize that it would help so much with my evening snacking.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Spread out the flex points

I have devised a new system for myself with my flex points. I am not really all that happy with were my weight has crept up, so it requires a little tightening up. I am going to do 5 points over on Wed, Thurs & Friday, then 10 extra points on Saturday & Sunday. I have been eating most of my extra points on Wed. & Thurs. lately..and I need more of them on the weekend. Saturday is a day we sometimes go out to lunch or a I feel the need to splurge a little...and Sundays, I usually like to eat a lot more also. I have to say I have been successful so far with this, but it is a little tough when it gets later and I am hungry. I don't get why I am still hungry even when I eat 5 points more for the day? Perhaps I need to eat more fruits...but that is always a struggle for me because I don't enjoy them all that much. Speaking of hungry, I am hungry already..but I need to wait until 10 for my morning snack. Why stomach? why?

Thursday, October 9, 2008

I need 3 snacks a day!

Wow, I am glad I got through yesterday. I went to bed at 9:30 on Tuesday night because I was tired and I had to get up an extra half hour earlier to get to a meeting. Then it was my TOM, and I was having a rough time with it. I hate feeling tired, sore and hungry....all of which I felt yesterday. The one thing that really helped me out is that I had 2 snacks yesterday. One between breakfast and lunch and one between lunch and dinner. The one between lunch and dinner really helped out a lot. I had a hot chocolate with lf honey graham crackers and I immediately felt better. I have been having hot chocolate almost every night lately...I love it because it makes me nice and warm and relaxed. Anyway, I was reminded once again how important it is for me to have at least 2 snacks a day. If I don't and my thinking is.."save the points for a larger dinner"....I eat so much more in the evening. This is a bad habit that needs fixing, because if I have my snacks I am not crazy ravenous at dinnertime and then don't need to have an eating free for all in the evening. It is so common sense..but I just can't get it through to my brain permanently.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Time to recharge my motivation

I haven't been at 183 for a while now and I reached it this week. I went a little crazy and need to work a little harder this next week. I want to get off the extra couple of pounds I gained in the last couple of weeks. I know I can do this, it is just a little hard to get myself motivated lately. I do feel that I am on an upswing though this week and I believe I can get myself going again. I made some bad choices this week and all I can do is try to make some better ones going forward.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Thai heaven

Okay, I didn't mention this yesterday because I didn't know if I would go..but I went to a thai cooking class last night. I ate too many deep fried spring rolls..and went way over on points..but besides that I really liked it and had fun. I found out that there is no low calorie way to make Thai food. A lot of coconut milk is used in it and I was strongly advised not to use the light stuff. If I make thai food anytime in the future it will definitely be a special treat meal. A delicious one. Thai is my favorite type of food to go out for, so I like that I learned how to cook it. I just cannot make it light in any way, shape or form...or it just wouldn't be thai food. I really thought I could somehow learn to make it lighter....I really did.

I am a little scared to get on the scale tomorrow because it is my TOM and I really went over on points this week...probably in the double digits. I really need to do more exercising as well..I have slacked off on that too. I have been fighting this dormant kind of cold for the last week..and I just haven't been sleeping well. Especially last night...perhaps all the curry made me too stimulated? I also ate out thai this weekend so I think I have had my thai food fix for quite a while now. I would definitely take another cooking class is super fun.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Aversion therapy

It's Monday and I feel pretty well rested. I had a good Sunday, filled with baking cookies (my second weekend in a row). Last week I made oatmeal raisin and this weekend it was peanut butter. I liked both quite a lot and I find baking enjoyable in the fall and winter months. I like it, but it isn't the best thing for someone who has a hard time stopping themselves from eating sweets. Yes, I ate a lot of cookies both times I made them...but I had to ask myself, "Why do I not make cookies?" And the answer was because they don't fit into my healthy eating plan and I am trying to lose weight. But, I enjoy baking and this is my eating plan for the rest of my am I never going to be able to make cookies ever again? That would suck, so I decided whenever I really, really want to make cookies..I am going to. I just don't want to make a habit of making them every week. I sometimes think that if I just bake them as much as I want, then I will slowly get myself away from the need of eating so many of them. I do wonder about that...but not sure if I would want to test that out yet.

I have to say that this sort of aversion therapy really helped me with candy eating. The 1 candy bar everyday thing really did make me not care about candy being around so much. When I see a bowl, I sometimes take it..but it isn't a need anymore. I felt like before I needed to eat large amounts of I know I can pick up a candy bar at any time...and is the one in the bowl the one I would choose? Most of the time it is NO.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Caffeine and Sugar

It was a dark and dreary day yesterday. I also did not sleep very well on Wednesday night and yesterday I was tired and cranky the entire day. I feel much better today, but I left work on Thursday feeling quite miserable and wanting a pb cup flurry more than anything. So I got one while it was raining and the wind was blowing at me (I can't believe ice cream shops are still open). It is a good thing, because I think if I couldn't of gotten that, that I would have gotten one of those giant chocolate bars at the grocery store (more calories, since I got kiddie size flurry). So I think stress and lack of sleep caused that sugar fest. I was well aware that I was trying to jack my serotonin levels up by eating that. It worked quite well, but gave me a bit of a stomach ache for the rest of the night. I guess I wonder why caffeine and sugar have such an effect on me?

So the reason I could not sleep on Wednesday was, I think because I had 2 lattes that day. I had a venti w/ an extra shot and another grande. I think the caffeine was overloading my system. Another reaction to caffeine/sugar. I sometimes think it would be quite nice to not be so sensitive to everything....and my sugar highs feel like real highs. I guess it is better than drugs and alcohol, but it sure doesn't help me to loose weight. My goal is to only do one latte a day in the morning and keep away from so much sugar.

Thursday, October 2, 2008


Lost .6 this week. Just trying to keep making healthier choices and exercising. I really can't believe I am back at my stuck point again. I also don't think I ate the 7000 calories needed to gain the weight I did..but maybe I miscalculated somewhere? I am not sure that the calories science is exactly right..and I think water can be having some effect also. Actually, I don't care....I will try to get it off again and keep going..but what is done is done..and maybe my body just wants to be this weight at this point in time. I am not giving up, but I also don't feel any sort of need to beat up on myself for 2 pounds or so.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Darkness

I kind of came to the realization today that I will probably always struggle with my healthy lifestyle changes. Um, duh. Anyway, I really hope to get to a place where things don't bother me so my weight fluctuations, lack of exercise, etc. Somehow I don't think it is that enjoyable to be this preoccupied...but perhaps that is what is needed to keep yourself from slipping?

I hate to blame something else for extra calories, but I do think the fact that it is colder and that there is less light, that I am craving sugar a bit more. Doesn't sunlight help you make serotonin? When there is less of it, isn't it natural to try to get it somewhere else? Anyway, I think the body adjusts after a while to the changes and you can handle it better. At least that is my theory right now...not that I researched any of this. It is raining right now and I wish I had a hot beverage to warm me come the extra lattes/hot chocolate weather. The smoothies are getting harder to incorporate because they make me so cold...but somehow ice cream isn't as bad :). Oh well, until tomorrow.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Getting back on the treadmill

I had some temporary insanity on Friday and a start of a cold, so I took the day off from work. I have just been feeling overwhelmed lately. I had another long talk with the bf to help sort out my thoughts and I feel much more sane now. I have a problem with wanting to make changes fast and not thinking about it and taking baby steps. I do that with my weight also..although I am much better now than ever. I just get down when I don't see something change immediately. I guess I am into immediate gratification much more than I would like to admit. I have gotten back on the treadmill and have decided to take things slowly once again and to be less hard on myself if I mess up. I am bound to mess up on my lifestyle of healthfulness. It is another job to keep your health a priority. It is super easy to just get lazy and not do the work....too easy.

I ordered a new fitness dvd to help me get more motivated and alternate workouts on the treadmill. I just keep trying with my diet also.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Mental health

I feel much better today after having a long talk with the bf about my stressors. Sometimes you just need to talk about what is bothering you....but sometimes it takes a while to learn what is bothering you. I usually have no clue until I spew out words in a big jumbled, venting mess. Anyway, I am hoping I can start to get back on track. I always need to remind myself that feeling bad doesn't stick around for long...I know I am going to feel better eventually. I have a strange cycle of feeling good, then feeling bad, then feeling tired, then feeling rested. Perhaps everyone gets like that..but I take it a little far into grumpster land, sometimes.

The weather has been excellent this week and I took some mental health time yesterday did me a world of good. I think I may take off tomorrow also. I think I need a bit of a break from work life.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Up and down and around

I am up 2 pounds this week. I am not sure if I was trying to sabotage myself this week or if I was just frustrated and stressed. I have had some stress going on and on Monday and Tuesday night I gave myself huge portions of food at dinner time. I also finished off the box of teddy grahams. I do not think I should allow myself to buy those anymore, they are too addictive. I needed to go with my first thought when at the grocery store, a mini box of animal crackers. Oh well, it is all a learning experience and I guess I cannot be responsible with certain foods in the house. That is just the reality of it. I have a hard time not eating a lot of crunchy, sweet foods and add any sweet thing to that..pretty much.

I have to say that I am mad at myself, but I am trying to get over it. I haven't been doing the treadmill much lately and have been taking the dog to the dog park instead. It is so much more fun. I wish I could say that the dog park was really great exercise..but it doesn't burn as many calories as the treadmill does. I told least I am getting some exercise..but it isn't going to help me get to my goal. The thought of getting on the treadmill the last couple of days actually sounded like hell to me..I don't know why. My motivation is waning. I want to take a break but I am also quite scared of gaining. I go in and out of this anxiety..I don't know why? I need to get over all this and just do what I need to do. I know that exercise will help my stress level. I know yoga will make me feel great. I just have to do it. Wish me luck.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Grumpy water

So I find it strange how fast I can get used to drinking larger quantities of water. I used to drink a liter bottle and I switched to a liter and a half. I think it is awesome that I have been able to find this big of bottled water bottles! I buy them at a local grocery store that has a Starbucks and when I lug the big bottle up to the counter to pay for it with my latte the barista always says "that is a huge bottle of water." They always then ask me "do you drink that", and of course I do without any problem. I guess most people don't drink a lot of water in a day. I find that if I don't I get a lot more sleepy and don't feel as good. I shoot for 2 liters a day. I try to get another half liter in the morning and evening. I have to say since I switched to the liter and a half that I feel better. I just have to pee a lot more.

Anyway, I am not in the best of moods today so I tried to write about water in an effort to not write about my bad mood..but then I ended up writing about it anyway. I hope to shake myself out of this soon. I am a bit grumpy.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Sunday donut

I really don't know why I always feel the need to eat extra stuff on Sundays. I once again ate all my flex points on Saturday and didn't leave extra for Sunday. This is not good. My theory is that I didn't brush my teeth until later in the day...a bad habit I do on Sundays. This may be what is leading me to eat crap. Ever notice when you don't brush your teeth first thing in the morning how you want to eat stuff that makes your mouth taste better? I may be alone in this...but I needed a donut and teddy grahams on Sunday. I actually have never had teddy grahams before, but they are not bad. I had the chocolaty chip ones..they are like mini chocolate chip cookies. I just had a few after the donut with my latte, but could of skipped the donut because I liked them better. My craving originally was for animal crackers..but I added on.

I didn't go over too much yesterday, but was really not hungry for I just had one fajita instead of two. Nutritionally my day would of been better without the donut. I kind of wish I didn't eat it because it is good for the couple of bites..but it does not fill you up and it isn't that good for the calories. So I have to remind myself of that next time I want a donut. It just looked so good in the case with the sprinkles.

Friday, September 19, 2008


I went to the dentist yesterday for a cleaning and they discovered a cavity. Anyway, they were able to schedule me for the filling at 4 p.m. I went ahead and got the filling. This is a new dentist for me and I have not gotten a filling with them before. The filling was on the bottom so I was numbed and it was painless to get the cavity filled..but I was numb for 6 hours! They told me it would take 3 hours..but I think they lied. I did not eat dinner until 7, and then I could not taste it or chew it at all. They went a little overboard I think with the numbing. I guess the only good thing that came of it is that I did not dip into my extra points for the week at all yesterday. I guess I would rather enjoy eating then eat because my stomach is growling. I can't imagine ever wanting to eat if you had no taste buds. Something I have noticed is that I used to swallow my food pretty much without chewing it when I had more of a weight I savor every bite (and digest it better). Anyway, I am hungry again right now....guess it is time for some water.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Crazy HFCS

The bf pointed out some commercials to me the other day on High Fructose Corn Syrup, and I have to say I laughed out loud about them. In one of the spots they have a thinner than average woman giving her husband a Popsicle (like a drug pusher, jk). He asks her "are you trying to kill me"? So anyway, it turns out the Corn Association is doing an ad campaign for HFCS because they think it is getting a bad wrap. After I got the idea to post an article on this, I saw some stuff about it on Fit Sugar. The article talks about all kind of things and links to the ads. Anyway, I have always tried to stay away from it...but it is hard to. It seems to be in a lot of products. Bottom line is, it is not good for you...and most people probably eat it already in why do they need to do an ad campaign about it? I really don't know, because America needs to eat better period and doing this ad does not do anything to help the obesity epidemic in America. We need to eat more nutritious foods. Now where are the ads for the Fruit & Veg. Association?

Wednesday, September 17, 2008


Down 1.2, but still no 179 on a weigh-in day. I have to say it sucks. 180 has been the toughest weight to get past ever. I am hoping next week, but I am also hoping for more patience with myself and my body. I think my body just doesn't want to let go. I am not going to let this get me down because really there is just not anything I can do about it now. I just have to continue to go in the right direction and work towards my goals of getting healthier. I know I can do anything I set my mind too, I just need patience.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Fall is here

It is a sunny day, finally. A little chilly though. I am doing quite well with my eating the last couple of days (and hopefully today). I am hoping my weigh-in tomorrow goes well. I don't think I will have a gain because I have been seeing some lower numbers on the scale recently. Today I saw 179 again, which is good for a Monday..but you just never know. I am feeling much better and not having the crazy cravings I was having last week. It is so strange how wanting to eat waxes and wanes. I am glad it wanes...otherwise I would be in trouble. I also learned that if I sleep a lot and drink a lot of body really responds to it. Although, I probably have been sleeping to much lately because I have been getting headaches that just come on. Not sure what they are about, but I am hoping they go away soon. I don't feel the least bit tired at the moment..which is a nice thing. I usually always feel somewhat tired, especially after lunch.

I hope to get in a good walk or dog park after I make dinner tonight with the doggy. She is long overdue (with all this rain) for some doggy time. I think I might play spore also and watch some tv. Fall is definitely here, but the chilly weather makes me want to just curl up with a blanket in front of the tv..and not do anything else. I must do things...and not give in to temptation.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Blog postings

My head has been spinning today. I can't seem to really get focus. I have read so many good posts on blogs today, so it is hard to write my own. Anyway, Leslie at "The Weighting Game" posted something interesting. It was a letter from one of her readers who used to do a food blog, commenting on food blogs. It was a very good point about blogging about your food intake. I would never want to do that because it would feel like a bit of an invasion of my privacy. I guess it is super nice to share food tips, but sharing what you eat all day could be a horrendous experience, especially for someone like me. I wouldn't want to obsess about things and look like a pig in presenting myself. I think people should eat what they want and just try to make it healthy or healthier.

Wow, the sun just came out...after 4 days of solid rain. I may be able to give the doggie a little walk...or not. I am going to try to go to yoga tonight. I really need a good stretch. I just ate lunch and totally burned my lean cuisine...I hate that. I feel so jipped. I ate it anyway...but it wasn't all that good.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

I want this to be more fun...

I have to say I have been moderating comments lately, only because I got advertisements on some and I am anti-advertisements...especially for crap diet products. Anyway, did you know that Smart Water has 50.7 oz bottles? I bought one today and already drank it. I like it. It is nice having a big water bottle. I try to drink 2 liters a day and this is 1.5 liters.

Anyway, last night I was getting a little down on myself for my weight loss efforts. The bf was bragging that he is a healthy BMI and nothing says he is fat. Anyway, that is not the case for me...and I want to be able to brag something like that to..but unfortunately I can't. I don't know mentally what is stopping me. I know what I need to do to get more weight off, but I just don't do it. I guess knowing that you have to do something is just not enough. I think I need more motivation. I am going to try to just be more "active", even if that means doing more low impact activities. I think on my treadmill-free days that I should take my dog to the park or for a walk around the block. I plan on doing this tonight when I get home..or I could just work out in the mornings again. I hope I can start doing that also. I have been just too tired to workout at night lately and I have to force myself. Forcing myself is just not fun..and makes me hate the whole act of exercising. I need to find some solutions.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Just excercise more

Okay, I know I write this blog everyday for myself and for the reason that it is a good time waster for me during the day...but I did think that I didn't want to report my weight gain (but of course I am). I am blaming this all on TOM that happened today just because I can. I am a little disappointed that I am back up to 182, but I also know I did not eat more than 3,400 calories extra this it can't be real. Why is this so much harder this time around?

I did restrict my calories for the weeks I got to 180 and I did feel a shift in my hunger and cravings this week. They were much stronger cues. All the articles I have read said to not restrict eating and just excercise more. I wish! I think some could be the weather and some of it could be that I exercised 5 days this week..when I was maybe doing 3 or 4 for the last couple of weeks. Or I just ate way too much and miscalculated the calories.

I am not upset with myself I just feel like I may not conquer the 180's anytime soon. It is a set back when I wanted to see 179 on a weigh-in day so bad. But I am happy with what I have lost and that I continue to keep that off. So I go back and forth from not caring to feeling like it is impossible to get to my goals.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Crazy mind fight

I fought the thought to eat chocolate chip cookies that are still lurking around the house last night. I should of threw them away, but I am saving them for Wednesday to have one with my morning latte and to eat otherwise. If I have the points for them I want to eat them. I know I am crazy with sweets. I just can't make myself throw them away....even though I don't care about the money for them or being wasteful. I do want to conquer my need to eat all of a sweet I bring into the house. I did this pretty successfully with the candy bars I used to buy. But I decided I didn't need to eat one of those every night. Doing that did serve its purpose for really did. It got me out of that "I can't eat that" thinking. Sometimes I think these tests I do are actually helping me overcome binging. Or maybe that is an excuse..but I used to eat the whole dozen at once when I bought them before. So I think I get some points for only eating half of the package in a couple of days.

But seriously...I really need to get back on track for next week. I have been kind of crazy lately with eating pizza and cookies. But I think everyone needs a break sometimes. It can start to feel depriving when you don't ever eat anything out. I think these breaks can sometimes help you get motivated again...and life is too short to not indulge here and there. It just doesn't really help me loose weight. I need to choose between losing or just maintaining. This is a crazy mind fight.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Chocolate chip cookies

I have been struggling this week. I did not feel good on Friday and was super tired so I took a sick day from work. I hardly remember Friday, it was just a sleepy haze to me. Anyway, I have had the biggest chocolate chip cookie craving ever! It started out fairly simple and then became a huge obsession. On Thursday afternoon I went during the afternoon at work to get a giant cookie from a local bakery. I ate that, but it didn't quite hit the craving. It wasn't soft and chocolaty enough.

Anyway, I thought I was fine for the rest of the weekend and we ordered pizza (bf's suggestion) on Saturday..which took the rest of my extra points for the week. We then ran out of trash bags so I had to run to the store to get some. That ended up not being the best idea. I went to the bakery section and looked to see if they had samples of cookies (sometimes they do) and was confronted with the giant, soft, chewy, yummy bakery cookies in a dozen pack. I just had to buy them, I had no defenses. I went and got a Starbucks latte and then proceeded to get into my car and grab a cookie while sipping my latte. That was so great. I don't know why but it was so satisfying.

I thought I would be okay with the package, I really did. I thought I will just eat one here and there, until Sunday evening hit. I forgot about them in the morning, but then after dinner I made a smoothie and it just didn't sit well with me. Then I remembered the cookies and went for it. I ended up eating 4. I felt a bit sick, but they were so good. I really hope this craving is over soon and I am sure it will effect my weight loss for this week. Oh well, right? Not a huge deal..just thought I was over the whole binging on sweets thing. Just when you think you have kicked the habit right?

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Laziness is contagious to myself

I had a hard time sleeping last night and kept waking up. I suspect that my lack of exercise this week has contributed to my crappy sleeping. When I work out regularly I don't have any problems sleeping. I was of course going to get up and work out this morning...but not sleeping made it impossible to get up. I wish I was more of a morning person...and what happened before that made me get up? I really miss those days of motivation to work out in the morning. And it didn't help that my yoga place was closed for a week and a half.

I did take my doggy to the dog park yesterday and she had so much fun playing in the little doggy lake. She went crazy like she has never been there before. I have to say I haven't been taking her as much as I did before. What is the deal with all this laziness? I am not sure how I became like this...but a lot of it slipped when I strained my calf muscles working out. I took a break and my exercising just started being more sporadic. How do I get motivated again? I don't know if there is a secret way to get myself more motivated...hmm...maybe winter and it's coldness will help out with that. I hope.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

A little snacky this week

I am up about .4 this week. Labor day was a bit snacky and I didn't exercise as much as I wanted to. I was tired from Monday, yesterday so I went to bed early and now feel fabulously well-rested. I was not upset about seeing 180.8 on the scale because I was 182 for so long. I am just working on it...and I know I will see 179 eventually. I want to work out more next week, but I can cut myself a little slack because TOM is next week and who knows how I will feel. Sometimes it is fine other times it sucks.

The bf and I are planning our March vacation this week (I can't believe how fast the time goes). We are going to Las Vegas, but are having a hard time finding a nice hotel that isn't outrageously over-priced for the week. I really am in shock about how much it costs to go there..the cruise was way less. I am not a gambler, but I want to go just to experience it and go to the shows.

It is a very cloudy humid day here. It was 93 yesterday and is supposed to get into the 90's today also. It will be cold soon, but yesterday was like living in a desert...for my thick Michigan skin.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Ice cream on the brain

I had a great weekend, but it was way too short. Anyway, we had a cookout at our house yesterday. I did not overeat for lunch..but we ate at 2 p.m, which is late for me. I then did not have dinner because we were playing Rockband and after everyone left I was so hungry and in the munchie moood, so I made some popcorn and then had some Jello and a Kashi TLC bar..I was stuffed after that. I was not even hungry for breakfast this morning. I really hope this late night eating didn't effect my weight too much this week, but if so I will just hope for better numbers next week.

I have to say my motivation this week has waned. I had some major ice cream cravings and had some ice cream 4 times this week. I think I may be better now, but I think the weather changing and the fact that the ice cream shops will be closed soon are making me have that "get it while you can" idea. Except for the expense, I love getting ice cream out because I don't have to have it in the house. And you get variety.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Humidity and eating

It is super humid out and has been so for the last 2 days. I got my haircut on Wednesday and I have had bad frizzy hair days for the past 2 days. My hair feels like straw when it should feel nice because I got it cut. I hate humid weather and am looking forward to more dry days. Those are few and far between in Michigan...except in winter.

Anyway, I have been eating a lot this week also. I have been craving Jimmy Johns for some reason. I swear they put crack in their subs. I had a turkey tom 2 days in a row and their chips yesterday. I think I am over it now though. The bf made me deep dish pizza last night because he knows how much I love it and never get was so good! So I had to eat 2 large pieces and before dinner I had a vanilla ice cream cone. Wednesday I had a peanut butter cup first all summer...but it was a lot of ice cream to eat and I felt a bit guilty after eating it. I got over that though. At least I haven't been eating them all summer. I do prefer something smaller though, I at least figured that out.

I am hoping to not go over in my points today because I need some for Labor day and our cookout party. I have not been eating all my extra flex points and I think this week it caught up to me with a larger than normal appetite. I probably shouldn't do that 2 weeks in a row. I just wanted to see 179 so bad. I think I should just add more exercise and not cut down the eating. It is all a process. I hope I do well on Labor day, at least I will be distracted by playing Rockband all day!

Thursday, August 28, 2008


After reading the Great Fitness Experiment's article on the MILF phenomenon, I think I have had enough of mommy makeovers and the crazy fascination with looking younger. At some point isn't it all too much to expect to look like your in your 30's when your in your 50's? Also to add to my exhaustion on the subject, I have been watching a show on WE called "The Secret Lives of Women." I tivo'd it and watched it last night. Am I the only one who thinks these women look bad? The surgery makes them look so men really think they are attractive? One lady got made over to look like Dolly Pardon (without the overly large chest). Does she think that looks good? I think she looked a lot better before. Am I missing something about this all? Can I not understand because I am 33 and my looks haven't washed away with gravity yet? Am I biased because I just don't care all that much about looking frozen and plastic when I get older?

I do know there are some women that do look better and not plastic with a little botox here and there....but where are these women? Why do they not have the conservative women on any shows? I guess the extreme is just so much more entertaining...but seeing this makes me never want to have plastic surgery for fear of looking like a complete unnatural freak when it is all done and over! I am old-fashioned and I would rather just try to look my best at these ages, instead of trying to look 30 all my life.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Down .2 pounds

I succeeded with keeping 5 flex points left this week, but unfortunately it was not enough to get me to 179. I am crossing my fingers for next week. I was super hungry last night, but really did not have a clue what I wanted to eat. I didn't just eat anything because I was hoping to get to 179 this week. I did see 179.4 on the scale on Saturday and Sunday...but it didn't transfer to today. That always happens. Oh well, I will just keep working on it.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Food obsession

Ever have those days where you feel skinnier than you are? I do. I also have the opposite (more on a regular basis). I was getting ready for work this morning and looked at my waist in the mirror..and it looked skinny. It was weird. I actually looked small. Is this a figment of my imagination? I know I am still overweight..and perhaps it was the fact that I didn't eat breakfast yet or that I don't carry most of my weight in my stomach. I just felt proud and fabulous about myself. I like this feeling. I don't often feel fat unless I stare at my thighs for long periods of time..which I try not to do too much. I have to say that every day I don't feel the need to binge on sweets is a good day for me. These days now only happen rarely.

I used to love that butter cream frosting on cakes and since my bf's nephew's birthday I know I do not like it. I used to look at photo's in the Meijer circular and stare longingly at the frosted cake photos in it. I now think it looks kind of gross. I have recently been thinking that food obsession is a learned skill. I also think it is a skill you can unlearn. I know I picked it up from both of my obese parents..and I have to say I know in my adulthood I can unlearn hard as it seems to be. As always, just when I think I have kicked the habits....I somehow seem to have small periods when I fall back into them. I know it is okay, but I just always seem to question whether or not I can get back from the brink.

Monday, August 25, 2008

First Goal

I had some issues with logging into my blog this morning, so was unable to post until now. We have Google email at work also, and that wasn't working either. I am quite hungry at the moment and just had some chips and salsa. I am glad I didn't have a whole bag to eat from. I am still doing my fruit smoothies and I was sure that I was sick of them last week, but I somehow got a taste for them back. It is always good for me to take a couple of days off from drinking them in the week.

I still have about 10 extra points left for this week, yeah! Last week I ate all but 5 of them. I am going to try to leave 5 again left for this week. I like doing that because I think it is a good cover for any overages I may of had during the week. I also like having some extra on Monday and Tuesday so that I don't have to starve until Wednesday. I feel much more balanced that way.

For the time being I don't feel the need to overeat really. I am sure that I will struggle with it again...but I really want to get to my first goal. I hope it happens soon.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Stress relief and sonovial fluid

I got a new office chair and it actually supports my back. It has a lumbar pump in it. It isn't the most high quality chair, but it is way better than the old one. So I am hoping this takes care of my back soreness. I did yoga last night and it is still gentle yoga, but the teacher pushes you a little more. I was shaking and snapping and popping all over the place. The instructor told me that I may lack sonovial fluid and that I should drink more water. I just nodded but I thought to myself, isn't 2 liters a day enough? Next week the yoga center is closed so I hope I don't get too stressed out, since I have been using it as my stress reliever.

Last night I dreamt about drinking water all night, I guess I should drink more. I had some ice cream and that always seems to make me thirsty for some reason. The ice cream was delicious, and I thoroughly enjoyed it because I haven't had it in so long. It was my special treat for after yoga. I am also a little excited because I may be getting an iPhone today. Not that I need it because I am so busy, but the bf got one and I so want one too. It has an iPod in it, that is the super cool part..and a many things that my old cell phone (from 1997) didn't have.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Down 1.8 pounds

Yeah, I finally got over my plateau. I am so proud of myself, the things I have been doing are working. I don't have to overexercise, I just need to eat more nutritiously.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Eating better

My back has been bothering me and the suspect is my office chair at work. It is super uncomfortable. I got the go ahead to purchase another and I want an Aeron, but I don't know if I will get it. Anyway, besides my back I am feeling pretty good today. The day is going pretty slowly and I can't believe it is only 10 a.m. I am already getting a bit hungry, but I brought the same snacks that I had yesterday. Hmm, which one should I have? I wish I would of brought some other snacks. It can get kind of boring eating the same ones all the time and I am not sure I am in the mood for peanut butter, so I will have cottage cheese and a granola bar. I have been trying to do a carb and a protein for each snack. It takes a lot more points, but it is more filling and I have more energy throughout the day. I got this idea from reading ask the dietitians blog. I also have been able to save flexpoints this way because I have cut way down on the candy and ice cream this week. I needed to make the decision to eat better and not have sweets for desert every night. I told myself I can add it back in after I get to my goal if I want too. I can also go up to the store and buy a candy bar or ice cream anytime I want.

So I feel less hungry and am filling up on better nutrient food. Let's see how this affects the scale this week. I will let you know when I weigh-in tomorrow.

Monday, August 18, 2008


I am a bit hungry this morning, but the weird thing is is that it is a weird hungry..that I am not sure is actual hunger. I guess I will know in about a half hour. I am trying to do 2 snacks between meals because I am sick of going home to make dinner and being super hungry. That is not a comfortable feeling. I did that this weekend and felt a lot better. I had more energy then I usually do. Snacks are the way to go because on the way home from work I am often tempted to stop and get ice cream or something else before dinner. I don't, but the temptation of it is annoying.

I have been doing well and this weekend I saw the lowest number I have ever seen on the scale, lets hope it transfers to my Wednesday weigh-in. I will cross my fingers. If I did get past my 182 sticking point, I attribute the success to my fruit smoothies and 2 snacks.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Activities make life after work fun

Wow, I had a blast last night after work. The bf and a couple of friends and our doggies went to a dog park party. They had food, a band, agility training and tons of playmates for the doggies. After that we went back to our house and played Rockband. Rockband might be the most fun game ever for multiple people.

I am pretty tired today and am looking forward to the weekend. I have a bunch of errands to run this afternoon. I am hoping to see Tropic Thunder on Saturday. I am having so much fun w/ activities that I am not exercising as much...I will fit it in this afternoon. I am doing quite well lately...but I have to say I felt a little bloated after the hot dog and Frito's and cake I had at the dog park party. It was just so much fun.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I can't stay thin?

I had an interesting afternoon/evening yesterday and found myself very stressed out. I could not wait to get to yoga for some relaxation time. Yoga was great and I felt relaxed afterwards, but the stressed-out thoughts kept coming up for me last night. I am kind of glad that I didn't have any junk food in the house because I found myself looking through the cupboards a couple of times last night. I think it is sad that I turn to food when stressed, but at least I tried to help things with yoga beforehand. It also didn't help that I had all of my flexpoints to spend. I settled with chocolate milk and some baked chips. I think it helped and then I mostly just waited it out.

I then found myself flipping through the channels last night trying to not think about my stressful day and I found an MTV True Life episode, called "I can't stay thin." I have to say I totally relate to both of the people they profiled. I totally understood everything they felt and went through, because I have been there many times. I have to say I have gotten passed the cycle, but I think it is always there in the back of my mind..I just know it is not the right decision to make. At times I was watching the show and felt like I was watching a drug addict go get their fix. I was uncomfortable at times watching because it seemed so close to my own experiences. I do think knowledge about how to eat would help these people and the girl profiled actually went to a dietitian and lost 7 pounds from it. That wasn't fast enough for her so she decided on nutrisystem. Who knows why, I would rather not eat than eat that vacuum packed crap. I hope she goes back to the dietitian. Seeing that makes me want to go to one.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

A little frustration

I lost .6 this week which is great..even with TOM. I did not feel well last night and laid around loafing on the couch. It sucked a little because I had other things to do, but it was also quite relaxing. I have to say that the last couple of weeks I have been bothered by my body's refusal to give up any weight. I would really like to be more positive with myself, but I am getting sick of the 183, 182 weight yo-yo lately.

I have to say this is the same exact struggle I had the last time I lost weight on weight watchers a couple of years back. I got to this exact weight and started to try to whittle down my eating and pump up my exercise to get past it and I never did. This was so frustrating to me the last time it happened I gave up and started eating whatever I wanted...including pop tarts and M&Ms for breakfast. Now, I am not one for strictness, but that is not a healthy breakfast..what was wrong with me? I really got fed up and went the opposite direction. I am not going to let this get to me like it did before..and I don't want to eat that way anymore either because I don't feel good when I do.

I may have to somehow come to the realization that its going to take a lot more hard work for me to get past this plateau. I feel that I have been working hard again on my exercising and trying to eat right...and unfortunately I have to do more to loose some more weight. I am going to continue to try but at some point it starts to feel like I am beating my head against the wall. All I try and remind myself is that if I keep at it, it will come off eventually (and I am getting healthier in the process). I did see the lowest scale number ever on Saturday...but it just doesn't stay that way for weigh-ins.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Well I am not feeling great today, it is my TOM tomorrow and I am super hungry and just can't sit still. I am glad the day is almost over. I think I may pop some Motrin and relax while I wait for the meatloaf to cook. I am making meatloaf tonight for the bf and not really looking all that forward to eating it. I am so looking forward to having extra points tomorrow. I am craving ice cream.

I went out to run an errand at lunch and passed by an ice cream place. It was hard for me not to stop, but I just tell myself I can have it tomorrow and that usually stops me. This is one of those rare moody days. I definitely miss yesterday because I was in such a good mood. I just remembered smoothies...I will have a smoothie tonight for my ice cream works perfectly because I can get a good texture going and it's cold.

Monday, August 11, 2008

You are what you eat

I had such a great Sunday. I cleaned the entire upstairs, did all my laundry, worked out for an hour and made quesadillas for dinner. I love our new Emeril grill we got. It is a cast iron skillet that goes over your burners, making quesadillas super easy to make. I also have been making my smoothies, something I really enjoy. I am happy to get in some fruits to my diet and the smoothie is perfect for tastes almost like a milkshake. The only thing I didn't do was take my doggy to dog park...only because she has been a bit naughty lately.

My mood and general well-being is at a pretty high level right now. It is so strange how cyclical my moods seem to be. I have to say since I have been doing yoga I feel much more evened out and the smoothies have helped too. I attribute some of my better eating lately to the BBC America show, "You are what you eat." It is a super good show and if I was a tv producer I would do an american version of it. The show shows how better eating can make you feel better, have more energy and a better life...the power of food is incredible.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

We will all be overweight by 2048?

I just kind of realized that I have some huge projects to finish at work within the next two weeks. I hate that feeling and I am not super motivated to do the work. I don't feel like being at work at all for some reason. It maybe the end of summer blues or something. Anyway, I have been reading a lot of interesting articles about weight lately. One from MSNBC this morning. Did you know that 78% of black women are overweight currently? Wow, that seems like a large number and almost unrealistic. I sometimes wonder about msnbc's reporting accuracy.

Anyway, I don't have a ton of time to post today so I thought I would just leave this article for now and maybe come back later.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The right reason to loose

I was just reading WebMd, and the book I read is featured in the article. I think this is more of the right mind set for weight loss.

Positive thoughts is the way to go

I think being positive about yourself is very important if you want to loose weight and get healthier. It seems to be a process. I was reading a post from Roni the other day on her blog and I have been disturbed by it for the last two days. I don't understand why women feel the need to beat themselves up if they are not thin enough in their own minds?

We all have days where we feel fat or unattractive or any of that...but to feel that way regularly is not a good thing. I can't help but think there comes a point in life when it isn't all about your weight and you realize you have more to offer to the world than your body. From now on I want to focus on being positive and not feel the need to pick at things from a weight perspective. Of course I want to loose weight still, but I am not going to talk down to myself or punish myself to achieve my goals. That is just not worth it!

It is just so sad to see so many beautiful women hate themselves over 10 or 20 pounds. I keep wondering where it comes from and I think a lot of it comes from Hollywood. I found an interesting article the other day about celebs diet secrets. It is sad..but in a way they do get paid to look good. For most women, it is not their job and they need to just try their best to keep things together...but you don't have to be perfect.

If anyone out their is feeling bad about their body on a regular basis, go see a psychotherapist, get a massage or go to yoga, etc. I would encourage you to try to find out why you are treating yourself badly and try to grow from it. It is important as a women to learn how to nurture yourself, not break yourself down.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Good job

I am doing quite well on my exercise plan this week. I am feeling much better and stronger. I am not sure my weight has changed much, but my body fat percentage has gone down about 2% on my scale. That is a good sign. My primary goal behind losing weight is gaining muscle, and anytime I see myself gaining muscle and not losing a reason to be proud. I am hoping I can add a fruit smoothie in for my dessert tonight, I am seriously addicted to them. Not only are they good but I am getting 2 servings of fruit and 2 servings of dairy in. I hope I never get sick of them.

My yoga class last night was super challenging. Another instructor was filling in and I think she got confused as to what class she was teaching. I was so sore all night I hardly slept. I hope to get a better nights sleep in tonight.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Fruit Smoothies

It's a rainy dark Monday today. I know dreary weather is on its way..rainy yuck that makes it hard to get out of bed. I have been doing quite good with getting back to exercising this week. I feel a lot better to. This weekend I decided to start making fruit smoothies to try to get in more fruit. I have been having problems with eating fruit lately, even though most of it is in season. I just get sick of eating it..or I really don't like it all that much. My bf is the opposite and eats most of the fruit we bring home from the grocery store in one day. So on Saturday when I was about to make my smoothie our blender broke. Why are those things not made to last long? Anyway, the bf told me to go buy one (he encourages the smoothie thing for dessert, instead of chocolate). He told me to get a good one and I got an awesome one similar to this, but less expensive and I think not as powerful. I had the best smoothie for dessert on Sunday..and it was super filling. It was nice to be full finally.

Friday, August 1, 2008


So why I am sore today I do not know. I really thought yoga would help with that. It is my hamstrings that are tight, but uncomfortably tight. I do high inclines on my walks, which I am not used perhaps this will go away after I get used to doing it again. I hate being so sore all the time. It used to feel good, now it is just annoying. I plan on doing some stretches tonight to help.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Will yoga help me lose weight?

Thanks Fit Sugar, great article about it here.

My new workout plan

I went to bed at 9 p.m. last night and got up this morning and exercised. I can't believe I actually slept through the night...I guess I need more sleep than most people. Anyway, if that is what it takes to get up and work out in the morning, than that is what I must do. I just read another article on Fit Sugar about exercising an hour a day, 5 times a week. I know that is what I must do, so I have devised a plan for myself for the next 2 weeks.

My plan is to get up in the morning M,T,Th,F and do a nice level 1 treadmill walking 30 minute workout. I will then continue to do my gentle yoga workouts on M & W. Tuesday night is doggy park night. I will then do a 30 min level 2 treadmill jog on Saturday morning, Sunday I will lift weights and do another level 2 treadmill jog or go to the doggy park if I need a break.

So those are my workout plans for the next 2 weeks or so. I will see how it goes and see if it has an effect on my hunger or the scale. I love these experiments and I actually prefer walking in the morning to jogging..or well, at least I did today.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Loss Of Motivation this week

I am up a little in weight this week. I really dropped the ball with exercising and am going to try to do better this week with it. I only did the treadmill once and I really need to do at least 4 days. I want to start getting up in the mornings again, because there are other activities that I want to continue to do in the evenings. Getting back to losing is a hard thing, and I need to get motivated again to get to my first goal of 175. I know I can do it!

I also went out for ice cream last night after the dog park, resulting in an overage of points. I know what I need to do and I can't fool myself into thinking I don't need to do cardio. I do and I need to stick to my points. I will just keep trying, it will happen.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Feeling Lazy

Okay, so the thing I like about this blog is that it forces me to be honest with myself. The thing that is so blatantly clear is that I need to exercise more. do I expect to loose weight when my exercise has dropped down so much? I have gotten to the point of laziness with exercising. I haven't stopped exercising altogether, but my use of the treadmill has been significantly lower. I remember posting that I was going to do an hour of exercising when I wanted to loose weight again...and I am not even doing the same amount I was doing at that point in time. I love doing yoga, I love taking doggy to dog park...but I want those to be in addition to my workouts. I really need to somehow shake some of this laziness I have been feeling lately.

My mind wonders over to my calf strain injury. This is when I stopped working hard on the treadmill. That is fine and what's done is done, but I am fine now and I need to start jogging again. I have completely stopped working out in the mornings due to laziness and now that I do yoga and dog park in the evenings, I really need to get back to getting up early and jogging or at least walking. In order to do that, I also need to go to bed earlier. I have started slipping again in going to bed early in favor of tv. I have tivo and I can watch them later. Someone needs to shake me outta my stupor.

Monday, July 28, 2008

I should not get on the scale everyday

I have been guilty of getting on the scale everyday this week. I saw my weight fluctuate 3 to 4 pounds this week. It is really weird and a little scary. I saw my weight go up the day after I did a cardio workout. Is that right? Anyway, I did the treadmill this weekend and I am proud of myself. I have to say that sometimes I think it would be easier to loose the weight without working out so much. I say this because the workouts make me hungrier. I want to eat more and the calorie benefit of the workout vs. the food payoff isn't so great. You can work out a half an hour, burn 200-300 some chips or cereal and you pretty much lost the calorie benefit of working out, especially if you overeat by that amount (which I frequently do lately).

The only good thing that comes from working out is muscle tissue. You don't get as flabby as you loose the weight. I do think it is healthier to loose weight while exercising and I think you look better is just so hard to keep up the intensity! I guess I have just been a little lazier and perhaps I need to eat better to offset the loss of interest in exercising. This is bound to happen to me from time to time.

Another problem I am encountering: I find myself obsessing about food sometimes. I will eat my dinner and then want something else because I still feel hungry. The thoughts will not leave my mind until I have something more. When I get something more I am done and don't think about food anymore. The rest of my evening is peaceful. I love that I stop thinking about food...but is this ruining my weight loss attempts? I am having a conflict with myself, because I would rather not obsess about food. Uggh. I have issues.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Motivated again for weight loss..will it happen?

No I haven't been exercising on the treadmill yet, but plan to this weekend. I have to say that I am really motivated again to loose. I just hope it starts happening...otherwise my impatience might kick in again. Jogging will help that, but my other activities are so much more fun...I have to say.

I love just running errands, going to the doggy park, lifting weights and doing yoga..and if I enjoy those I need to find time to do the jogging around them. I think the jogging took up a lot of my extra time and now I want to do other things outdoors. This will go away in the winter though. The problem is that my intensity during outdoor activities is just not the same. The trainer program/workout cards I have really motivate me to push myself on the treadmill. I am one of those people that needs a push otherwise. One day I would love to get a trainer.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Feeling better

I had a headache with congestion yesterday, so I stayed home. I did post my weight for the week and am happy about being back to my lowest so far weight of 182. I hope to keep losing, but I must get on the treadmill again. Anyway, my day is much better today and I am feeling close to normal.

Yesterday I was trying to think of ways to go down to 22 points once I go below 175. That will not be as easy of a transition because I have already done the easier one I had to do (going from Caramel Mocchiato to NFSF Latte). I have to say I like the NFSF latte better now, the CM is too sweet for me (so weird). That is what happened when I went from the White Chocolate Mocha to the Caramel Mocchiato before. The things your taste buds get used to, and once you make the transition it becomes habit, at least for me it does. I know I am not near that weight yet, but I am hoping to get into the 170's soon. The lowest number I have seen on my scale at home (and not on a weigh in day) was 181.6. I think I will freak when I see 179. I hope I hope! I am just so close to being in the normal range of my BMI and I really want that to happen. I would officially be in the normal range and not overweight anymore at 169. That feels so close..and I have done the majority of it so far..I will just keep crossing my fingers and hope my body will drop the weight without having to starve or workout like mad. I will just have to cross my fingers.