Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving

I am down for the week by 1.4 pounds. I was wishing for more, but sometimes you have to suffer a little to realize what you have done to yourself by having some not so good eating weeks. I hope I continue to loose this week, but with thanksgiving and all if I don't loose I am fine with that. I just hope I don't gain. I intend on doing yoga tonight followed by house cleaning. We are having thanksgiving at our house so major cleaning like mopping and dusting need to be done. It is fine if it isn't perfectly clean though. I just hope I am not too tired to clean some tonight. I actually feel quite rested right now..but that could just be the shot of espresso in my latte. I hope my boss lets me out early!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


So yesterday was a light day at work for me. I went and got my hair cut and dyed dark..a little too dark for me, but it is demi-permanent so it will wash out a bit. I am trying not to dwell, and the bf really loves it. I have been a little disappointed in the numbers I have seen on the scale lately. I have lost since last week..but it isn't where I want it to be yet. I know I have to keep at and it is kind of impossible to loose 4 pounds in a week. I have been kind of hungry though, which is kind of sucky too. I forgot about the "being empty" feeling of trying to loose. I had it once in a while lately...and when I first started losing I had it all the time. I have to somehow learn to get used to it again. I guess I understand why people may take diet pills..perhaps it is so they don't feel that feeling so much? I have to say I don't like it, but it is a necessary evil. And I just say no to any diet pills. I don't agree with them because they are expensive and not good for your health. I would only think it was okay to take them if I was morbidly obese.

So anyway, that hungry feeling seems to always get in the way of my progress. There is only so many fruits and veggies you can eat to take it away a little....and then I end up getting a sour stomach from it. I dream of the day when I am at my goal and at maitenance. Even though that is hard as well.

Monday, November 24, 2008


It is Monday and a 3 day week! I guess I can get over my slight grumpiness for a 3 day week. Anyway, things are going well and I have picked up my exercising this week to my normal routine. I feel so much better and realize that I have to pull the reigns in more heavily during the holidays because there is just so much more temptation. Even if it isn't a holiday can convince yourself to eat just because it is the season. I have 3 parties to go to and I am not going to feel bloated at them....I am going to keep things in line the best that I can. And..I am not going to beat myself up if I slip up a little. I can do this, I have done it before. And feeling good and good about yourself is worth a lot more than a brownie is to me.

It is snowing right now. So far we have yet to have had snow that sticks around, but I have a feeling this will. I wish I could say I am ready for it, but I really don't want it..given the state of my car.

Friday, November 21, 2008


Okay, I am not freaking out anymore and feel much more sane again. I think I needed some extra sleep or something. I am trying my best to get my extra weight off and reminding myself that it just takes some time. In time my weight will go down again. I don't need to panic or stop eating my flex points...I just need to exercise again and write my food down.

Today started out stressful, but it is getting better. The fact that it is Friday is the best reason of all to be happy. We are going to see Bolt in Imax 3D on Saturday and I am so excited. We also are going to the Chinese buffet..uggh. I am saving my flex points for that this week. I love it, but I always end up eating too much of the fried stuff and not enough of the fresh sushi that is there.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Freaking out

Ok, I have officially gotten to freak out mode about my weight gain. I ate quite healthfully yesterday and I got on the scale this morning to another gain! I know it is probably water weight gain...but come on body! I only had 1 flex point yesterday and I did yoga and WiiFit. I hope this will all be over soon, and just a distant memory of a time of too much water weight.

So because of my freak outs I got up early this morning and exercised on the treadmill for 30 minutes. I went to bed early last night just so I could get up and do it. I really need to buckle down and start being more strict with my journaling and exercise. I am starting to scare myself! I really want to stay around 180 for the holidays and not gain! After that I want to start losing again. These are my goals and I am sticking to them. My body just needs to cooperate.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Weight gain :(

Yesterday was Tuesday and I weigh in on Wednesday mornings. I weighed in today to find that I have gained 2.2 pounds. I am not happy about this, but I have to say I did not have a great eating day yesterday. The power got cut off at work so we were able to go home early. I stopped at the store to get ingredients for a veggie soup I was making for dinner..and my eyes saw chocolate covered cashews....and I went for it. I love nuts in chocolate especially lately....which has never been a vice of mine before. I was also experiencing some anxiety issues (not sure why). So yesterday I overate and it was reflected on the scale this morning.

I am also guilty of not writing down what I ate this week and totally knocking off exercising. I didn't not exercise...but the time and intensity of it was just not there. I ate cake and chocolate on the weekend with no mind to how many calories I was taking in. I have to say I totally deserved the weight gain...and I am NOT happy about it. I must get this under control.

Last night I was watching a tivo'd show on Discovery called "Extreme Bodies: Super Obese" and it had so many facts and figures about weight gain & loss that it made my head spin. I have never seen such an informative show on obesity before. It is a bad and crazy cycle to get yourself into. Your body can become so efficient at keeping fat that it becomes near impossible for some of these people to keep their hunger under control. I didn't believe that these people couldn't help themselves..but I believe that their bodies are fighting against them to keep the weight on. I have no idea why a body would want to keep an extra 200 pounds though? I just don't get that.

So I must fight against my body to get this 4.4 pounds off...and I wish Thanksgiving wasn't around the corner, but it is only one day! I should be okay.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


I have been a little excessive lately, but I have to say that it really made me happy. I have been eating what I want and not really writing it down and shopping for extra things for the house...even though I should be saving because Christmas is next month. I guess I felt like, it is my birthday and I can spoil myself a little. I am not sure if that is a good reason, but it felt like it was. I bought a new comforter and sheet set and it is so nice and comfy, it is even harder for me to get out of bed now! Forget working out in the least at this point. I blame my new comfy bed for not getting up to workout...yada yada yada. Man I can make myself believe just about anything. I guess that is a normal human personality can talk yourself into just about anything. At least I know I am in partial denial..right?

Anyway, back to reality. I really want to buckle down and eat right this week. Nothing all that special is coming up this week and I just really want to get to a lower weight before thanksgiving. I really don't have any extra leeway...and I don't want to come out of this month gaining 5 pounds that I can't get off. I did the WiiFit last night and I had my first over 40 fitness can it change so much in a day?

Monday, November 17, 2008

Birthday was great!

My birthday was pretty awesome, the bf got me some great gifts and flowers and a cake..I felt so spoiled it was just the greatest! Anyway, one of my gifts was the WiiFit. I wasn't sure about the WiiFit, I kind of wanted it..but knew it was hard to get...but he got it. It is so much more fun than I thought it would be! It is also more challenging than I thought it would be. I have been getting on it everyday..and it is my new favorite thing. I just love it.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Pre-birthday post

I won't be posting tomorrow because it is my birthday. Anyway, things are getting back to normal after my illness and I worked out at full capacity last night. I am so glad to be well and I can taste food again. This is good, because when I was ill I reached for sweets because I could actually somewhat taste them. I kind of thought it was a waste, but it got me through the illness. I have read some articles that state that large amounts of sugar lowers your immune system..and that perhaps could be why I got the cold in the first place (other than the co-worker being ill). I have not gotten sick since March, and that was an allergy related problem.

It has been raining and dark here for the last couple of days and will continue to be throughout the weekend. This is kind of depressing and it makes you not want to go outside, but I guess it is better than snow. I was kind of hoping to take my doggy to the park tomorrow and Saturday..but the forecast is rain. Poor doggy, she needs some exercising.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Down .6

I lost .6 this week. I am fine with that since I did not exercise much this week. I am hoping in the next couple of weeks to get back to 180. I think fluctuating between 180 and 182 for the holidays would be ideal for me right now. After that though I want to start working harder at getting off about 10 pounds. I think I will always have a goal of losing 10 pounds...I wonder if that is good or bad? Is it bad to always want to lose another 10 or is it not accepting yourself? I really don't know...or perhaps it keeps you wanting to continue to live healthily?

Anyway, I am hoping to get in some more exercising this week because the WoW Burning Crusade came out and the bf is binging on it, so I have more time to myself. This might be a good thing to get in more exercising and take the doggy for her last remaining days at the dog park. My membership runs out on Nov. 19, so no more happy doggy until next spring. I hope to brave the cold and take her on a couple of short walks during the week in the winter..if I can handle it. It gets really cold.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

More normality

I am either feeling better or I am getting used to being stuffy. It is nice to feel more normal. I lifted and did cardio last night. I got a little stuffy after the treadmill...which I took it easy on. Just 20 minutes at low intensity. I think I will just ease my way back up to more time and higher impact. I felt proud of myself because I always try to lift at least once a week, and I got it in. I have been waiting to weigh myself until tomorrow, so I don't know where the weight is exactly. I am hoping the same or lower than last week....but I just don't know. I decided once a week is fine for weighing..I used to weigh myself every day, and I just freaked myself out too much with it. Everything I read says once a week is great. I am gently easing back to my routine. The good news is that my clothes still fit great. I plan on doing a lot better this next coming week..except for this Friday, it is my birthday..and I will be going out to eat and getting an ice cream cake from TCBY. This is my tradition, and I would never think about not eating cake or ice cream on my birthday.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Getting better

I am a bit better from my cold, but not fully recovered yet. That was a bad one! I haven't gotten that sick in a long time. I kind of forgot what it was like to be sick..and I have to say it still sucks! I did not get any exercise in this weekend, and the bf and I were not feeling well enough to really the eating and exercise was not great for this week. I really wanted to rebound back to 180 quickly...but I think it is going to take a bit longer. I got sick and ironically right after Halloween. I really want to get back on track.

My birthday is this Friday and I will be 34. I don't feel 34. Anyway, I have hopes of not gaining too much this week.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Feeling ill

I have a cold and I stayed home yesterday. There is only so much loafing around and sleeping you can do without going a little nuts. Anyways, I haven't been sick in about a year and a half, which I am grateful for because it really sucks to be sick. I kind of blame my sugar consumption a little for lowering my immune system, but the co-worker I share an office area with is sick and I am not sure I could of avoided it.

Anyways, I don't have much of an appetite but am making myself eat because I know what happens if I don't. Once I feel better I start eating like crazy. I try to achieve some balance even when I am sick. I just try to choose healthier fruit smoothies or better breakfast items like oatmeal and eggs. I am still not feeling great, so this is a shorter post.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Up .8 and making a fresh start

Okay, so I weighed in today and I was .8 up from last week. I was thinking that I gained about 1 to 2 pounds, so this falls in line with it. I am now 2.8 pounds up from what I like to stay at, which is 180. I am going to take the next couple of weeks to try and get it off. I know I also have to figure in a little for TOM I am hoping that the 2.8 pounds will come off fairly easy. I also hope that one day I will stop beating myself up for the times of the year where I have weaknesses for food. Halloween and Christmas..I decided are the biggest times of the year for me. The other times I usually don't go too overboard. I think this is only because I don't have any fondness for regular food..except for maybe pizza. I like regular food, but I don't care for fast food or greasy foods or overheating home cooked meals. My big problem (that everyone is aware of if they have ever read anything here) is sugar. I love sweets, and that is where my diet goes wrong. I was craving sweets hardcore yesterday..and some of that is TOM also. I didn't really give in too much, especially in the evening..I had a healthy fruit smoothie.

I also did a google search yesterday to see what I could do to stop myself from wanting sweets so bad. I did a hypoglycemia test and rated somewhere around 61% positive for it. That is crazy. But there is no medication or anything for hypoglycemia, just eating every 3 hours or so and trying to balance out your blood sugar. I did see a nutritionist before and she told me that I may be hypoglycemic also. This scares me because I have type 2 diabetes running in my family and I am really scared that I am going to get it. This is a big reason, besides vanity for me to keep exercising and balancing out my diet. I still want to loose at least another 10 pounds, but being at 180 seems maintainable for me...or perhaps it is that set point theory coming into play? Perhaps I could maintain just as well at 160 or 170..if I could only get there. Anyway for now, maintaining is my best bet with everything coming up. My birthday is next Friday, then Thanksgiving...then a bit of a break and Christmas and parties and New Years...then perhaps another look at losing another 10 pounds. I like that plan and think it is easily doable.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Go vote and try to skip the treats..if you can

I voted earlier today, so I am glad I got that over and done with. I was thinking about something on my way back to work after voting. Various companies are giving away food and drink for voting...which they did get in trouble for, because apparently you can't make someone vote to qualify for the free item. Anyway, why is it that I and apparently others think they deserve a treat for voting? I seriously thought about driving out of my way for crispy kreme today..but then I stopped and reminded myself it is Tuesday and that I can wait until tomorrow to indulge myself in something. I did get a tootsie roll for voting and it made me want more sugar. I just had a crapload of Halloween candy and I want more sugar? Eating sugar (for me), makes me want more sugar..until I am eating sugar everyday and not fitting into my pants. It is a vicious cycle for me and I am struggling with the leftover Halloween candy lurking around my office. I still want to eat massive amounts of candy. I must come to my senses and get back on track. I might have to go back to having a candy bar a day again until I get over this. Why is sugar so good?

Monday, November 3, 2008

Not feeling so good

I did have a good weekend, but a crazy one. I ate more candy and pizza than I should of and then followed that up with a full thanksgiving dinner at the bf's moms house on Sunday. Wow...I still feel stuffed. I went more overboard than I should of and on Saturday was ridden with guilt and concern about myself. I was fully aware of shoving candy bar after candy bar in my mouth as well as pizza after slice of pizza..but I did it anyway. I am not sure if I eat for any other reason other than that I enjoy eating...

I find it strange that people are often trying to label themselves with a condition for eating, but I have to say I just like eating...and I am well aware of what I am doing when doing it. All I can do now is try to take the next couple of weeks and try to get it off. I also have TOM this weigh I am thinking it might be an overwhelming large gain. I must remind myself that the week after this will be better...and try not to freak myself out!!