Friday, August 29, 2008

Humidity and eating

It is super humid out and has been so for the last 2 days. I got my haircut on Wednesday and I have had bad frizzy hair days for the past 2 days. My hair feels like straw when it should feel nice because I got it cut. I hate humid weather and am looking forward to more dry days. Those are few and far between in Michigan...except in winter.

Anyway, I have been eating a lot this week also. I have been craving Jimmy Johns for some reason. I swear they put crack in their subs. I had a turkey tom 2 days in a row and their chips yesterday. I think I am over it now though. The bf made me deep dish pizza last night because he knows how much I love it and never get was so good! So I had to eat 2 large pieces and before dinner I had a vanilla ice cream cone. Wednesday I had a peanut butter cup first all summer...but it was a lot of ice cream to eat and I felt a bit guilty after eating it. I got over that though. At least I haven't been eating them all summer. I do prefer something smaller though, I at least figured that out.

I am hoping to not go over in my points today because I need some for Labor day and our cookout party. I have not been eating all my extra flex points and I think this week it caught up to me with a larger than normal appetite. I probably shouldn't do that 2 weeks in a row. I just wanted to see 179 so bad. I think I should just add more exercise and not cut down the eating. It is all a process. I hope I do well on Labor day, at least I will be distracted by playing Rockband all day!

Thursday, August 28, 2008


After reading the Great Fitness Experiment's article on the MILF phenomenon, I think I have had enough of mommy makeovers and the crazy fascination with looking younger. At some point isn't it all too much to expect to look like your in your 30's when your in your 50's? Also to add to my exhaustion on the subject, I have been watching a show on WE called "The Secret Lives of Women." I tivo'd it and watched it last night. Am I the only one who thinks these women look bad? The surgery makes them look so men really think they are attractive? One lady got made over to look like Dolly Pardon (without the overly large chest). Does she think that looks good? I think she looked a lot better before. Am I missing something about this all? Can I not understand because I am 33 and my looks haven't washed away with gravity yet? Am I biased because I just don't care all that much about looking frozen and plastic when I get older?

I do know there are some women that do look better and not plastic with a little botox here and there....but where are these women? Why do they not have the conservative women on any shows? I guess the extreme is just so much more entertaining...but seeing this makes me never want to have plastic surgery for fear of looking like a complete unnatural freak when it is all done and over! I am old-fashioned and I would rather just try to look my best at these ages, instead of trying to look 30 all my life.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Down .2 pounds

I succeeded with keeping 5 flex points left this week, but unfortunately it was not enough to get me to 179. I am crossing my fingers for next week. I was super hungry last night, but really did not have a clue what I wanted to eat. I didn't just eat anything because I was hoping to get to 179 this week. I did see 179.4 on the scale on Saturday and Sunday...but it didn't transfer to today. That always happens. Oh well, I will just keep working on it.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Food obsession

Ever have those days where you feel skinnier than you are? I do. I also have the opposite (more on a regular basis). I was getting ready for work this morning and looked at my waist in the mirror..and it looked skinny. It was weird. I actually looked small. Is this a figment of my imagination? I know I am still overweight..and perhaps it was the fact that I didn't eat breakfast yet or that I don't carry most of my weight in my stomach. I just felt proud and fabulous about myself. I like this feeling. I don't often feel fat unless I stare at my thighs for long periods of time..which I try not to do too much. I have to say that every day I don't feel the need to binge on sweets is a good day for me. These days now only happen rarely.

I used to love that butter cream frosting on cakes and since my bf's nephew's birthday I know I do not like it. I used to look at photo's in the Meijer circular and stare longingly at the frosted cake photos in it. I now think it looks kind of gross. I have recently been thinking that food obsession is a learned skill. I also think it is a skill you can unlearn. I know I picked it up from both of my obese parents..and I have to say I know in my adulthood I can unlearn hard as it seems to be. As always, just when I think I have kicked the habits....I somehow seem to have small periods when I fall back into them. I know it is okay, but I just always seem to question whether or not I can get back from the brink.

Monday, August 25, 2008

First Goal

I had some issues with logging into my blog this morning, so was unable to post until now. We have Google email at work also, and that wasn't working either. I am quite hungry at the moment and just had some chips and salsa. I am glad I didn't have a whole bag to eat from. I am still doing my fruit smoothies and I was sure that I was sick of them last week, but I somehow got a taste for them back. It is always good for me to take a couple of days off from drinking them in the week.

I still have about 10 extra points left for this week, yeah! Last week I ate all but 5 of them. I am going to try to leave 5 again left for this week. I like doing that because I think it is a good cover for any overages I may of had during the week. I also like having some extra on Monday and Tuesday so that I don't have to starve until Wednesday. I feel much more balanced that way.

For the time being I don't feel the need to overeat really. I am sure that I will struggle with it again...but I really want to get to my first goal. I hope it happens soon.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Stress relief and sonovial fluid

I got a new office chair and it actually supports my back. It has a lumbar pump in it. It isn't the most high quality chair, but it is way better than the old one. So I am hoping this takes care of my back soreness. I did yoga last night and it is still gentle yoga, but the teacher pushes you a little more. I was shaking and snapping and popping all over the place. The instructor told me that I may lack sonovial fluid and that I should drink more water. I just nodded but I thought to myself, isn't 2 liters a day enough? Next week the yoga center is closed so I hope I don't get too stressed out, since I have been using it as my stress reliever.

Last night I dreamt about drinking water all night, I guess I should drink more. I had some ice cream and that always seems to make me thirsty for some reason. The ice cream was delicious, and I thoroughly enjoyed it because I haven't had it in so long. It was my special treat for after yoga. I am also a little excited because I may be getting an iPhone today. Not that I need it because I am so busy, but the bf got one and I so want one too. It has an iPod in it, that is the super cool part..and a many things that my old cell phone (from 1997) didn't have.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Down 1.8 pounds

Yeah, I finally got over my plateau. I am so proud of myself, the things I have been doing are working. I don't have to overexercise, I just need to eat more nutritiously.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Eating better

My back has been bothering me and the suspect is my office chair at work. It is super uncomfortable. I got the go ahead to purchase another and I want an Aeron, but I don't know if I will get it. Anyway, besides my back I am feeling pretty good today. The day is going pretty slowly and I can't believe it is only 10 a.m. I am already getting a bit hungry, but I brought the same snacks that I had yesterday. Hmm, which one should I have? I wish I would of brought some other snacks. It can get kind of boring eating the same ones all the time and I am not sure I am in the mood for peanut butter, so I will have cottage cheese and a granola bar. I have been trying to do a carb and a protein for each snack. It takes a lot more points, but it is more filling and I have more energy throughout the day. I got this idea from reading ask the dietitians blog. I also have been able to save flexpoints this way because I have cut way down on the candy and ice cream this week. I needed to make the decision to eat better and not have sweets for desert every night. I told myself I can add it back in after I get to my goal if I want too. I can also go up to the store and buy a candy bar or ice cream anytime I want.

So I feel less hungry and am filling up on better nutrient food. Let's see how this affects the scale this week. I will let you know when I weigh-in tomorrow.

Monday, August 18, 2008


I am a bit hungry this morning, but the weird thing is is that it is a weird hungry..that I am not sure is actual hunger. I guess I will know in about a half hour. I am trying to do 2 snacks between meals because I am sick of going home to make dinner and being super hungry. That is not a comfortable feeling. I did that this weekend and felt a lot better. I had more energy then I usually do. Snacks are the way to go because on the way home from work I am often tempted to stop and get ice cream or something else before dinner. I don't, but the temptation of it is annoying.

I have been doing well and this weekend I saw the lowest number I have ever seen on the scale, lets hope it transfers to my Wednesday weigh-in. I will cross my fingers. If I did get past my 182 sticking point, I attribute the success to my fruit smoothies and 2 snacks.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Activities make life after work fun

Wow, I had a blast last night after work. The bf and a couple of friends and our doggies went to a dog park party. They had food, a band, agility training and tons of playmates for the doggies. After that we went back to our house and played Rockband. Rockband might be the most fun game ever for multiple people.

I am pretty tired today and am looking forward to the weekend. I have a bunch of errands to run this afternoon. I am hoping to see Tropic Thunder on Saturday. I am having so much fun w/ activities that I am not exercising as much...I will fit it in this afternoon. I am doing quite well lately...but I have to say I felt a little bloated after the hot dog and Frito's and cake I had at the dog park party. It was just so much fun.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I can't stay thin?

I had an interesting afternoon/evening yesterday and found myself very stressed out. I could not wait to get to yoga for some relaxation time. Yoga was great and I felt relaxed afterwards, but the stressed-out thoughts kept coming up for me last night. I am kind of glad that I didn't have any junk food in the house because I found myself looking through the cupboards a couple of times last night. I think it is sad that I turn to food when stressed, but at least I tried to help things with yoga beforehand. It also didn't help that I had all of my flexpoints to spend. I settled with chocolate milk and some baked chips. I think it helped and then I mostly just waited it out.

I then found myself flipping through the channels last night trying to not think about my stressful day and I found an MTV True Life episode, called "I can't stay thin." I have to say I totally relate to both of the people they profiled. I totally understood everything they felt and went through, because I have been there many times. I have to say I have gotten passed the cycle, but I think it is always there in the back of my mind..I just know it is not the right decision to make. At times I was watching the show and felt like I was watching a drug addict go get their fix. I was uncomfortable at times watching because it seemed so close to my own experiences. I do think knowledge about how to eat would help these people and the girl profiled actually went to a dietitian and lost 7 pounds from it. That wasn't fast enough for her so she decided on nutrisystem. Who knows why, I would rather not eat than eat that vacuum packed crap. I hope she goes back to the dietitian. Seeing that makes me want to go to one.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

A little frustration

I lost .6 this week which is great..even with TOM. I did not feel well last night and laid around loafing on the couch. It sucked a little because I had other things to do, but it was also quite relaxing. I have to say that the last couple of weeks I have been bothered by my body's refusal to give up any weight. I would really like to be more positive with myself, but I am getting sick of the 183, 182 weight yo-yo lately.

I have to say this is the same exact struggle I had the last time I lost weight on weight watchers a couple of years back. I got to this exact weight and started to try to whittle down my eating and pump up my exercise to get past it and I never did. This was so frustrating to me the last time it happened I gave up and started eating whatever I wanted...including pop tarts and M&Ms for breakfast. Now, I am not one for strictness, but that is not a healthy breakfast..what was wrong with me? I really got fed up and went the opposite direction. I am not going to let this get to me like it did before..and I don't want to eat that way anymore either because I don't feel good when I do.

I may have to somehow come to the realization that its going to take a lot more hard work for me to get past this plateau. I feel that I have been working hard again on my exercising and trying to eat right...and unfortunately I have to do more to loose some more weight. I am going to continue to try but at some point it starts to feel like I am beating my head against the wall. All I try and remind myself is that if I keep at it, it will come off eventually (and I am getting healthier in the process). I did see the lowest scale number ever on Saturday...but it just doesn't stay that way for weigh-ins.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Well I am not feeling great today, it is my TOM tomorrow and I am super hungry and just can't sit still. I am glad the day is almost over. I think I may pop some Motrin and relax while I wait for the meatloaf to cook. I am making meatloaf tonight for the bf and not really looking all that forward to eating it. I am so looking forward to having extra points tomorrow. I am craving ice cream.

I went out to run an errand at lunch and passed by an ice cream place. It was hard for me not to stop, but I just tell myself I can have it tomorrow and that usually stops me. This is one of those rare moody days. I definitely miss yesterday because I was in such a good mood. I just remembered smoothies...I will have a smoothie tonight for my ice cream works perfectly because I can get a good texture going and it's cold.

Monday, August 11, 2008

You are what you eat

I had such a great Sunday. I cleaned the entire upstairs, did all my laundry, worked out for an hour and made quesadillas for dinner. I love our new Emeril grill we got. It is a cast iron skillet that goes over your burners, making quesadillas super easy to make. I also have been making my smoothies, something I really enjoy. I am happy to get in some fruits to my diet and the smoothie is perfect for tastes almost like a milkshake. The only thing I didn't do was take my doggy to dog park...only because she has been a bit naughty lately.

My mood and general well-being is at a pretty high level right now. It is so strange how cyclical my moods seem to be. I have to say since I have been doing yoga I feel much more evened out and the smoothies have helped too. I attribute some of my better eating lately to the BBC America show, "You are what you eat." It is a super good show and if I was a tv producer I would do an american version of it. The show shows how better eating can make you feel better, have more energy and a better life...the power of food is incredible.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

We will all be overweight by 2048?

I just kind of realized that I have some huge projects to finish at work within the next two weeks. I hate that feeling and I am not super motivated to do the work. I don't feel like being at work at all for some reason. It maybe the end of summer blues or something. Anyway, I have been reading a lot of interesting articles about weight lately. One from MSNBC this morning. Did you know that 78% of black women are overweight currently? Wow, that seems like a large number and almost unrealistic. I sometimes wonder about msnbc's reporting accuracy.

Anyway, I don't have a ton of time to post today so I thought I would just leave this article for now and maybe come back later.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The right reason to loose

I was just reading WebMd, and the book I read is featured in the article. I think this is more of the right mind set for weight loss.

Positive thoughts is the way to go

I think being positive about yourself is very important if you want to loose weight and get healthier. It seems to be a process. I was reading a post from Roni the other day on her blog and I have been disturbed by it for the last two days. I don't understand why women feel the need to beat themselves up if they are not thin enough in their own minds?

We all have days where we feel fat or unattractive or any of that...but to feel that way regularly is not a good thing. I can't help but think there comes a point in life when it isn't all about your weight and you realize you have more to offer to the world than your body. From now on I want to focus on being positive and not feel the need to pick at things from a weight perspective. Of course I want to loose weight still, but I am not going to talk down to myself or punish myself to achieve my goals. That is just not worth it!

It is just so sad to see so many beautiful women hate themselves over 10 or 20 pounds. I keep wondering where it comes from and I think a lot of it comes from Hollywood. I found an interesting article the other day about celebs diet secrets. It is sad..but in a way they do get paid to look good. For most women, it is not their job and they need to just try their best to keep things together...but you don't have to be perfect.

If anyone out their is feeling bad about their body on a regular basis, go see a psychotherapist, get a massage or go to yoga, etc. I would encourage you to try to find out why you are treating yourself badly and try to grow from it. It is important as a women to learn how to nurture yourself, not break yourself down.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Good job

I am doing quite well on my exercise plan this week. I am feeling much better and stronger. I am not sure my weight has changed much, but my body fat percentage has gone down about 2% on my scale. That is a good sign. My primary goal behind losing weight is gaining muscle, and anytime I see myself gaining muscle and not losing a reason to be proud. I am hoping I can add a fruit smoothie in for my dessert tonight, I am seriously addicted to them. Not only are they good but I am getting 2 servings of fruit and 2 servings of dairy in. I hope I never get sick of them.

My yoga class last night was super challenging. Another instructor was filling in and I think she got confused as to what class she was teaching. I was so sore all night I hardly slept. I hope to get a better nights sleep in tonight.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Fruit Smoothies

It's a rainy dark Monday today. I know dreary weather is on its way..rainy yuck that makes it hard to get out of bed. I have been doing quite good with getting back to exercising this week. I feel a lot better to. This weekend I decided to start making fruit smoothies to try to get in more fruit. I have been having problems with eating fruit lately, even though most of it is in season. I just get sick of eating it..or I really don't like it all that much. My bf is the opposite and eats most of the fruit we bring home from the grocery store in one day. So on Saturday when I was about to make my smoothie our blender broke. Why are those things not made to last long? Anyway, the bf told me to go buy one (he encourages the smoothie thing for dessert, instead of chocolate). He told me to get a good one and I got an awesome one similar to this, but less expensive and I think not as powerful. I had the best smoothie for dessert on Sunday..and it was super filling. It was nice to be full finally.

Friday, August 1, 2008


So why I am sore today I do not know. I really thought yoga would help with that. It is my hamstrings that are tight, but uncomfortably tight. I do high inclines on my walks, which I am not used perhaps this will go away after I get used to doing it again. I hate being so sore all the time. It used to feel good, now it is just annoying. I plan on doing some stretches tonight to help.