Thursday, February 28, 2008

The day before

I am taking a half day at work today to get my errands done before I leave for the cruise...tomorrow. So excited and I worked out this morning. Very proud of myself. I kind of had to because I am making dinner for the bf's parents tonight (because one of them is watching my doggy).

I am hoping I can get them outta there in enough time to pack, do laundry and get some weights in. The strange thing that I was not tired this morning, but I really don't remember working out..or if I drank all my water. That is so strange to me. I guess I was enthralled by the tivo'd Oprah I was watching about Freegans. Did you see that? It was interesting that the people were getting all their groceries from the garbage, not something I would do. I will just keep spending huge amounts of money at Meijer, sorry freegans..more for you.

Oh and yesterday the cleaning lady for the building was telling me about not eating breakfast because she gets up really early...and I of course said that wouldn't stop me, I could eat anytime of day....and she said "I don't know where you put it if you do, your so small".....what? I couldn't believe it, but that was a nice compliment. I was not expecting her to say that, seriously...I was just being honest.

I also went and tried on more shorts and dresses last night. I can actually be choosy because things look good on me. Amazing. I bought another pair of shorts because I was looking in the mirror and legs really don't look all that bad. This is the first time I have ever thought that and I have been smaller than this before....must be the exercise.

Nothing can really get me down today...because of my excitement for the cruise. I am almost to the point of being giddy. I can hardly glad I am taking a half day. My boss was very envious of my vacation, but he is going to Colorado at the same time.

Well, I am off and will not be posting until after Monday, March 10th. Bonn voyage.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Wednesday weigh-in

I lost .6 pounds this week. I am happy to loose...had 2 weeks prior to maintenance that I didn't it is nice. I guess I thought I would loose a bit more, but that is okay. As long as I am losing again steadily, I try not to worry about what the number is. I have read that people who go up in points then go down the following week loose more weight..but I guess my body likes to lose the weight in the same week of eating more.

I have one more day of work and blogging then I am off to the cruise...warm weather and sun..woo hoo! I still have to pack and plan and do all my errands before..and I hope I don't forget anything. I also will be starting 2 days of self-tanning. I think I am going to buy a sugar scrub tonight, then put self-tanner on before I go to bed. That is the only way I can handle it. The smell is always so weird, but I am so fair it is the only way I get any color at all. The tannest I have ever been is with self-tanner...yes I am that white. I don't like or believe in the tanning booth, it scares me and is too hot. Not enjoyable for me.

I also plan on bringing snacks with me on the plane. I do not want to be caught off guard being hungry and have to grab some crap food that makes me feel bad. I guess that is what always keeps me eating healthy...I just do not feel good when I eat crap. My stomach gets all off and I have no energy. I think that may be the secret to my lifestyle change. I feel so good eating healthy and exercising that, right now, I would not want to not feel this good. I also have some sort of hypoglycemia...I have fainted before. I guess I am a bit fragile and unable to push my body. I don't drink or smoke or do any body cannot handle any of that. It is also nice that my bf doesn't do any of those things either, his only addiction is WoW.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Slow workout week

This weeks workouts were not so great. Don't get me wrong I still worked out as much as I could, but my intensity seemed to suffer a bit from last week. I am attributing this to the smaller amount of food or the feet or the strange 24 hour cold I had on Saturday. All of which affected my workouts. So far I don't think I have lost the amount of weight I lost last week on maintenance. This is starting to play with my mind.

I am a lot happier on maintenance. I feel a bit more freedom with food. I have more energy to work out. I love maintenance, or it might not be maintenance (since I lost). I am finding it hard to go back to 24 points. I thought this might happen.

I decided to go on maintenance for the week and few days of the cruise. I also decided I would bring my journal and try to journal my food intake as much as I could. I also gave myself a goal to workout in the gym of the boat at least 3 times. I looked at where our room was and were the workout room is far I am trying to be realistic. Our "stateroom" is on the bottom level of the boat..which scares me. Am I gonna get sea sick?

Anyway, it is cold and wet and dreary here and I cannot wait to get into the sunshine. I am thinking about doing the self tanning because I looked at my legs and they are white like a ghost. The only thing I hate about self tanning is the smell and the streaky problem.....which is random and hard to always prevent. If I look better in shorts though, it is worth it.

I also have been shopping for dresses and cover ups. I am amazed at all the things that look good on me now. It is so cool, but dangerous for the finances.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Why do new shoes always give me a blister?

I bought new shoes on Friday and of course as soon as I wore them I got a blister on my heel. I am tempted just to keep wearing the old ones to avoid a huge ugly blister for the cruise. I will be wearing sandals there. I have read numerous times that shoes are supposed to be immediately comfortable and there is no "breaking in" period. I have never had a pair of shoes that did not give me some kind of rubbing or blister some where.

Anyway, I am a little sore from lifting weights last night. I remember when I first starting doing the bowflex machine and how I hated the feeling of lifting. It hurt. Now I kind of enjoy it and of course look for that feeling to know I am building muscle. I guess the hurt of straining your muscles grows on you. I have never liked it, but feel it is necessary I deal with it.

I did not get up to exercise today because of the blister and just not feeling like it. I plan to do 45 minutes on the treadmill tonight. And yes I have been weighing myself and I am not sure that the 24 points has made any weight loss happen this week. So weird. I just keep thinking 180, 180 and maybe it will magically appear. The power of positive thinking, right?

Woo hoo, spell check works again.

Friday, February 22, 2008

One week and counting until cruise

It is Friday, and the cruise is 1 week away! I will not be posting from February 29th to March 9, 2008 due to being on vacation. I am so excited about going and have read some great reviews about the ship and location we are going to. It has been a little harder to get the bf excited about it...he has a lot of work to get done beforehand. He has a very demanding job.

Anyway, I want to let everyone know that the weight loss and the blog is not going to stop after the cruise. I still am not to my first goal and feel that this blog has really helped me to work out some things for myself. I hope I can help others in the process, but I really do this for myself. It is fun to look back at how I was feeling at different weights and different days. I think the maitenance thing was the most amazing piece of information I have covered so far. I haven't read much about people going on maitenance or even needing to in the other blogs. Please comment if you have a "going on maitenance" story, I would love to hear from you....and if not..not a big deal.

I worked out this morning for the first time since getting the cortisone shot. My podiatrist gave me some Comforter brand insoles that add padding and are suppossed to conform to the shape of your foot. I still worked out in old shoes today, but plan on getting new ones later on this afternoon. My foot felt fine, and I am happy I can resume my regular work out schedule. Have a great weekend.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Foot feeling better

My foot is feeling much better today. I have taken some time off from the treadmill, but lifted weights yesterday..the best that I could. I think it is funny that on Tuesday when I got the cortisone shot how nonchalant the podiatrist and nurse were about the whole thing.

I asked if I could excercise right a way....they said yeah, sure. I got home and could not feel the whole right side and big toe of my foot, how would I jog on the treadmill like that? Couldn't I of broken my toe and not known about it? Anyway, the thought of putting a shoe on my foot yesterday sounded excruciating, so I stayed home from work. I think this helped speed up my recovery time because it does not hurt nearly as much as it did yesterday. I also got caught up on a lot of sleep and some art.

I am pleased that I lost weight on maintenance last week. I so enjoyed it, I am tempted to stay on it....but I won't. I went back to 24 points yesterday. The thing is about maintenance and losing is that I had a lot more energy to excercise. I could jog faster and longer....I think that may be why I lost weight. I have friends that say they still loose weight on 28 points a day and they weigh less than that gives me hope that when I am at my goal, 28 points could be my maintenance or more. I am happy with that. I am happy that I took a break and do not feel insane anymore.

I read a lot of blogs and see people struggle, I think they need to take a break when it gets tough..and a lot of them try some other diet and excercise programs that sound a bit extreme. It is an easy cycle to get into when you don't get the results you are looking for. It is tempting to go even further with dieting and excercising to achieve your goals. My mind has gone there, but I am too lazy to follow through. If I have to get to that point, where I am doing some extreme diet or excercise program...maybe I would adjust my weight goals instead. Some of those programs sound like they are just too much work and shouldn't the things you do for health not be torture?

Anyway, I do not know what they are dealing with or if they are trying to get to the smaller end of their weight goals so I should not talk about them. I just feel that I need to slow down on my weight loss goals and not go insane. This last week has taught me that.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Lost 1.4 pounds on maintenance

I am posting early because I am home with a sore foot from the cortisone shot I got last night. Anyway, wanted to do a quick post and let you know I lost 1.4 pounds on maitenance. This is great!

I will add to this later, but I still plan on 24 points this week. I didn't think I would lose that much! Woo Hoo.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Foot don't go on me now...

I realized this week how much food gives you energy. Eating extra made me want to excercise more. I excercised every day this week and did a fast 3 mile jog/walk on Sunday. That is when the foot started hurting. And last night it reared its ugly head on the treadmill.

If you read my previous posts I mentioned that I had a very painful cyst in my left foot. I got a cortisone shot in the area and that took care of it for almost a full year now. I got the shot before my last vacation, last year in March. It changed my life because it took away the pain and allowed me to excercise normally again. This was a huge thing for me because it allowed me to get back on my healthy lifestyle plan again.

So last night I stepped on the treadmill (knowing that area was tender). I could hardly walk on my left upper foot and ended up forcing myself to do 15 minutes walking at 3.5 mph. This is slow for me, I usually walk at 4 to 4.5 and jog at 5.5 to 6. I was upset that I could not do my usual.

I am definitely taking the day off from excercising today. I have a foot doctor appointment (luckily) at 2:30 p.m. today. I wonder if I will have to get another cortisone shot? These shots are painful. So painful that I cry when I get them. But if it takes the pain away for another year it is worth it. I also think I need to buy new running shoes...but I will see...if I get a cortisone shot, I won't be able to feel if the shoe is comfty enough. It numbs your whole upper foot. Maybe I can go before? Hmmm....

I just hope things are better with the foot thing after today. It is not nearly as bad as it was before, so I think the foot doct. may not want to do the cortisone shot. But who knows...we shall see.

Monday, February 18, 2008

I have never been on maintenance

This week on maintenance has been soo nice. I haven't been starving and feel that I can survive on 28 pts. much better. On Saturday I was busy, and got home with 10 pts. still to go after eating dinner.....what a feeling that is. I still ate them and enjoyed it. I definitely don't feel deprived on 28 pts..especially with 35 extra points and excercise points.

My conclusion is....that maintenance is something to look forward to. I always read those stories that maintenance is harder because you think you can eat much more and go back to your old eating habits. I know this is a possibility, but maitenance has been really nice. The last time I was on weight watchers and lost 20 + pounds I never went on maintenance because I always wanted to loose more. I wish I would of....why? Because you get really hungry and burned out on cutting calories and when you have a lot of weight to loose (over 20) you need a break every now and then. At least I do.

The only thing I can say is that I would like to be on maintenance now. I might find it hard to go back to 24 pts. next week. I still have made my decision to go on 24 points for next week though. You wouldn't think that 4 pts. made that much difference, but it did. I don't wake up starving, I feel satisfied. So...note to self, if you feel overwhelmed or sick of cutting calories...go on maintenance for a week and save your sanity. This is one of the best choices I have made along this journey.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Scale addict

I have to say my goal of not weighing myself today was not achieved. It must be habit or something because I just weighed myself without thinking. At least the number was better today, 186.

I had a good Valentine's day but did not get any candy from the bf. He said "That amount of sugar is not good for anybody". That bummed me out a bit, but at least my boss bought a Whitman's Sampler and I took 2 pieces of it I don't feel too deprived. I can always get candy if I want it..and I do.

My bf made me dinner last night and it is my favorite dish. Beef tenderloin and broccolli on top of brown rice. It is a weight watchers recipe and has a ton of ginger and spice in it, so delicious. He also went to Fresh Market and bought only organic everything for it. I think that was great, splurge on a special meal at home. I think the restaurants are too busy and I haven't really wanted to go anywhere for food.

I am on my third day of maintenance and it is going well. This morning I did not wake up starving, which was really nice. I had some hunger but not as much as usual. I worked out and ate breakfast and was not hungry at 10 a.m. for a snack. I am just waiting a while now before having lunch. I seem to be focusing my attention now on what I want to take for the cruise....and oh, I bought a pair of shorts that I really like on me. So I have "1" pair now. :)

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Need to stop weighing myself

So I am doing maintenance this week and I have decided that I am not going to weigh myself everyday because I will go insane. I think Wednesday is fine to weigh in, other than that I need to stop. I got on the scale today and it said 187. I did eat into my flexpoints yesterday quite a bit, so that might be what is to blame for this jump. The scale also said that I lost 1% body fat. All that in one day? I really cannot begin to understand that.

I have to say I feel a bit more relaxed about the whole weight control thing this week. I guess because of maintenance I kind of expect not to loose, so it is kind of a relief in a way. If I gain the week after this maintenance week, I might be pretty upset though. I worked out this morning and feel great.

I am starting to think that I don't know how to tell if I am hungry or not anymore. I woke up early again this morning and my stomach felt like it was burning. It felt very strange. It felt like I was hungry again or that my metabolism was going on high speed. It was 3 a.m. and I never eat at that time. I also ate a full sandwich and soup at Panera yesterday. I never eat a whole sandwich, but I was hungry for it yesterday. That was a 19 point meal.

This weight loss effort is different than any other for me because I never worked out while losing. I didn't do anything before but restrict calories, now I lift weights 3 times a week and jog on the treadmill for at least 30 minutes 6 times a week. I feel great and strong with a lot more muscle mass, but I am a bit confused as to how to care for my body. I don't know what it needs right now, so I am going to try as many new things as I can after this maintenance week.

I have decided after this maintenance week to:
  1. Cut down on my cereal for breakfast. I currently eat 1 1/2 cups of Kashi Go Lean. I am going to put it down to a cup.
  2. Drink double the water I do now. I have been drinking about a liter and a half....I want to up it to 2 liters everyday.
  3. Work out at least 4 days a week in the mornings. I currently do 2 to 3. I was doing 4, but have slacked and started doing it in the evenings instead, I would rather do it in the morning.

That is all I am going to tweak for right now. I would rather try to do small changes than large ones. I will keep you posted on all this.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Maintenance for 1 week

So, I am plateauing for sure. I know this because:
  1. I did not eat too much or excercise to little last week, but I gained .6 pds this week. I maintained last week.
  2. My body fat percentage is the same as last week.
  3. My measurements are the same.
  4. I haven't changed water habits.
  5. I have been eating fruit for snacks more frequently and counting points for it.
  6. I feel that I have been at a calorie deficit (I woke up at 6 a.m. this morning starving, only to get on the scale and gain .6 pds).

So I have been a little frustrated this morning, but I believe going on maintenance or adding 4 points to my daily points is the best way to go for this next week. I feel more muscular and/or toned then I ever have. I just think my body needs a little break to reset my metabolism. The week after this, I will return to 24 points.

I could be absolutely wrong about this, but I thought it is worth a try for 1 week. I thought long and hard about the consequences of this and the possibility of gaining more, right before my cruise....but I don't want to feel frustrated about this anymore and I don't want to give up my healthy lifestyle because I can't achieve my goals in the time I thought I should. I still have the 180 goal in my mind, but I won't beat myself up if I can't get to it before the cruise. I love what I have done already and proud of myself for making the healthy changes and choices I have made so far. Slow and steady wins the race....and I might be in the race longer....but I think it is to my benefit. We will see how it goes.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Massages are great

I had a massage yesterday and it was so relaxing. It made the stress of the crazy people at work all melt away. I am feeling really great lately, physically. The only problem I seem to be encountering is a weight loss plateau (that I mentioned yesterday).

I am starting to think that it really doesn't matter if I am plateauing...and worrying about it may be making it worse. The stress from it is not a positive thing for me and it makes me get into a crazy place in my head if I think about it too long. I get into the thought process of maybe I will eat less and excercise more or maybe I won't eat that piece of chicken with dinner and only eat veggies. I don't think these thoughts are healthy or that they will contribute to the healthy lifestyle changes I am making. The more I want to lose weight and the quicker I want to loose weight the crazier and more extreme I seem to get.

When I was steadily losing weight there would be days that I ate a little more or worked out with less intensity and it was all fine, I kept losing. Somehow this stopped and I began to panic. I started eating fruit and veggies only for my snacks, eating a large veggie lunch and having additional veggies with dinner. This is healthy, but I think sometimes your body freaks out a little about it. Perhaps I need to shock it with some crap food. That is my new not stress and push myself too hard for this week. Hey, it is just a week...and maybe it will get the crazy little thoughts out of my head about weight loss. It is worth a try. Next week I will try something else if this doesn't work.

Monday, February 11, 2008


So I woke up today feeling some energy, which is good. I did not work out, but I feel that is all that matters. I also get a massage this afternoon.

Anyway, I am starting to think that I may not loose weight this week either. The scale is up even higher and it is starting to concern me. I have added more fruits and veggies to my diet and started working out harder..and my weight is still least this weekend it did.

I read the "burn the fat blog" post on Friday and it explained that you need to be in a calorie deficit. I believe I am in a calorie deficit...but the scale is saying otherwise. It also suggested going into maintenance mode for a week or so...but I don't know if I should do that? I still want to loose more for the cruise.

Anyway, I haven't even eaten all of my 35 extra flexpoints and I would think my weight would go down. I really am confused about what my body is doing. Should I eat more or less? I am still overweight and the article says you plateau when you are closer to your goal weight..which I still want to lose 20 pounds to be even considered healthy on my BMI. What to do? I don't know.

Friday, February 8, 2008

People are strange

Work has been surreal the last couple of days. It seems that you tell people things, you write people things and they don't listen or read. Anyway, it is Friday and I had hopes of a good day...but..I stepped on the scale today and my weight was 2 pounds up. I know I shouldn't weigh myself so much, but with all the hard workouts I have been doing and the fruit and veggie should be down. Again another example of your body doing what it wants to do. This is depressing.

I am looking forward to the weekend and hope that my weight drops a bit. I have been drinking more water..maybe it is that? I have no idea....I shouldn't even guess. I have a slight headache so it is a short post today. I hope for a better week next week with Valentine's Day and all.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Storm dumping and forgetful eating

Ok, I live in Michigan and we had a bad snow storm yesterday. I had a showing for my house that the person refused to cancel at 5 p.m. I left work early (work actually ended up closing at 3 p.m. because of the snow storm).

I arrived at my home far away from work to shovel and it was packed snow and ice. I ended up just shoveling a path to the doors and garage (this was a feat in and of itself). So the people actually did show up, which is good..but they kept saying "it's so small" the whole time. What do people expect for $119,900, a mansion? Anyway, I then had to drive home from way across town. I know live on the opposite side of town, go figure.

I was very stressed driving home and could not tell the road from a snow bank in the dark awfulness of the blizzard. My windshield wipers froze up and that made it worse. I made it home without dying. I was so disheveled from the experience that I began to eat and forgot what I had eaten was delusioned into thinking I had more points than I did for the day. I then of course remembered and ending up eating 15 points into my flexplan. That sucked. I usually don't eat that many. I hope I can get through this week without having to suffer too much.

I did excercise this morning for the first time this week. I have a lot of work stress today which does not help. I need to somehow relax a little. My spellcheck is still not working, I wonder why?

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Equality on the scale

I just maintained this week, but I did lose 1/2" off my hips and went down a percentage in body fat. Those are good things. So I just hope to do better next week. I really do not know what happened other than my body did what it wanted. I was down all week, even yesterday to 184.6. It is so strange.

On the plus side, I am feeling better today. This is mainly due to the yoga session I did last night. The instructor went over by a half hour so I did 1.5 hours of yoga. It felt great. I feel so stretched out. I am guilty of excercising and not stretching after. I don't know if it is the excessive amount of dog hair in my house that keeps me from stretching (black workout pants, white doggy) or just that I am too lazy. I use yoga to help with that. I really do need to work on my stretching a bit, it does help with soreness...doesn't it? I read things about that and it seems debatable.

In other good news, I can fit into my old j.crew navy size 14 pants. I wore these in 2002 last when I worked there and was around 175 pounds. Wow, it is 2008 and that was 6 years ago. I take really good care of my clothes...they do make quality stuff and they are a plain style, so they still look great. I am proud of myself for that, I did not excercise I think because I excercise and lift weights now that might contribute to being able to fit in these clothes. It is just awesome to me, almost surreal. :)

Tuesday, February 5, 2008


I am stressed about money today. I just can't ever seem to have enough. My house still hasn't sold, it has been 9 months. I know other people may be in tougher situations then I am in at this point, but it is stressing me out.

Yesterday I just really wanted to eat. I don't know if it was the weather or stress over money..but it sounded good to just chow away and not excercise. I did not give in to my whim, I ate dinner and had my 2 pt. dessert then excercised for an hour. I felt slightly better, but sometimes I wish I didn't have to force myself to excercise. I don't want to get to the point where I rebel against all of this because I have to keep making myself do it. That is a fear of mine. I also have a fear that I will gain the weight back and fall off the wagon again. I love being 20 pounds lighter, I love that my clothes fit and are baggy, I love having more self confidence and I love feeling in control of my eating. There are so many pro's to losing weight and much more than the 5 minutes it takes to eat a box of candy or whatever the vice tends to be for the day.

I know this will always be my struggle...but it is hard sometimes to not go back to my automatic eating when I have problems. I know it does not solve problems and that it makes them worse..I know that...but why is it so easy to go back to? Why is it such a trigger? Without the extra motivation of the cruise I am not sure I would be doing as good. What happens after the cruise is over? Will I continue my efforts? Why is this fear so prominent in my head? Aggh...weight loss is hard. Will I get to a point where this is all over ever? or is this a vicious cycle to fight?

All I can do is take it day by day and keep trying. It will get better or easier right? I have to remember all the pro's. When I weigh the pro's versus the con's of losing weight the pro's so outweigh the con's. This is the reason to loose weight. Eating will not solve my problems. And why doesn't spell check work anymore on this?

Monday, February 4, 2008

Friday off Monday on

I took the day off on Friday, it was great. We had a big snow storm and I just didn't want to go in because I woke up with a sore throat. Anyway, my goal for Friday was to find some hobbies I enjoy doing. My bf plays WoW obsessively and I want to find something I enjoy as much as he enjoys that. I found some adult coloring books, but really didn't find a good craft that I would want to do. The problem with me and crafts is that I do not like clutter. I hate doing something then having to throw it away because I don't have something to do with the finished project. I am a total minimalist and do not like extra things laying around. I would love to get a sewing machine, only I don't have a clue how to sew. I would love to hem things or take in things....that would save money and be really cool I think.

Anyway, maybe one day I will get a sewing machine and try to teach hard could it be? I have to take my taxes into the accountant today at noon so I get to have a good break from the office. What happened to my eating and excercise experiences for today? Umm, just the same ol same ole. I hope to lose a pound this week and get to 184. I have 4 weigh in days before the vacation, lets hope I can get to 180! That is my goal. I feel great and feel in control for now. If anyone reads this what are your hobbies? What do you like to do for yourself on your own? I would love some ideas.