Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Freakin for no reason

Well I maintained this week, which I am really happy about. I was freaked out..but why can't I just trust myself that I won't gain 5 pounds in a week? Dang it...I totally freaked myself out, for basically no reason. I put some jeans on that had just been washed a couple of days ago and they were I think some of it was freaking out about that. But come to think of it, those jeans are always tight right when I wash them. My fear/anxiety of gaining back weight needs to somehow be more controlled. I know better, I really do. I think because I have gained it back so many times before that this anxiety is warranted. But how can these crazy thoughts actually help me in my life? They can't...they won't...and I need to let them go.

Anyway, I love being the size I am. I rarely feel like a big fatty and my pants fit. There is nothing wrong with that. So I am going to just try to maintain my weight throughout these holidays. That is all, just maintain. When I feel motivated and ready to try to loose again I will.

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