Thursday, November 8, 2007

So it's Thursday....

A lot of things have been floating around my head lately. I have been in a pretty good mood lately. A couple of weeks ago I thought I was going to explode from emotional heaviness or have some kind of mental breakdown. I think this journal, sleeping enough and excercise has helped me a bit. Also, I had some issues with a co-worker and I talked to her about it as well as talked to my boss about some things I needed to change for my work sanity. I think before I used to go to food to help me through those types of things and I would ignore ever confronting those things in my life. I guess I thought they didn't matter or that I didn't want to hurt or bother someone else.

I kind of realized that I need to get my feelings and frustrations out or they will harm me either emotionally or physically (in the form of fat). That is why posting to this journal is helpful. Sometimes I worry that my boyfriend will read it and think I am going out of my mind, but I realize that is ok. We are all out of our mind sometimes. My boyfriend's mother said to me the other day that "we are all on a journey to self-acceptance", I agree with that and that was an enlightening thought to me. I really want to accept myself and think that losing weight and getting healthy is a way to take care of myself so that I can realize how important "me" is. I don't think it is just a vanity thing for me, I think it is that I realize the importance of my health...finally.

Almost 2 years ago now I met my boyfriend. I thought I was doomed to single life and bad dates forever. Anyway, through this relationship I think I kind of found myself..that inner child that was wounded and hiding in there. Sometimes it was sooo hard, but I feel that I am finally on the right track to accepting myself. Wow, I feel that I have been a slow learner. But I finally feel at almost 33 that I am at a place where I could raise a child and do well at it. Not that I am pregnant or near marriage. But for the future, it is a good thought.

Thanks for reading/listening.


Anonymous said...

It's a good thing that you worked things out with your co-worker and your boss. That should make things easier. May DB could help out with issues other than work? Good luck!


Estellia said...

Hi Val,
Thanks for your comment. What is DB?


Anonymous said...

Dear Boyfriend


Estellia said...

Hi Val,
I guess I don't expect my "DB" to help me with all my issues...that is not his job. I just expect him to listen and be supportive.