Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Thinking about something

I ate 3 slices of homemade pizza last night. I got on the scale this morning..(because I am insane) and guess what? I am back to my gained weight of last week. I knew I probably should of stopped at the second piece...but it was so good. I did 45 minutes of jogging on the treadmill last night in an effort to make up for it, but it didn't really do me any good on the weight front. On the fitness end, it was great for me. I plan on taking it easy on the food today.

So hey, I said in my post yesterday that my only goal for this week was to maintain..so if I maintain that is fine :(. I have been thinking and debating about trying to stabilize my weight for about a month, this would be week one. I haven't permanently decided, but I am pretty sure. I have read certain things online about losing weight in segments. Losing 10% of your weight, then maintaining for 6 months..then losing...maintaining. I think that makes sense, and it is something I haven't tried before. I have lost a little more than 10% of my weight and I am NOT gaining it back!

You see I have been on this roller coaster before. When I lose weight, I always have this anxious feeling of gaining...mainly a fear because I have gained it back so many times before. I want to lose another 20 pounds, but I am fearful that I couldn't maintain it. I think I really need to make some major life changes to keep 40 pounds off. I have to be honest, that scares me. Trying and working so hard, only to gain it back. That is a huge ego kill and very embarrassing. I need to think of some ways that I can change my lifestyle in order to keep it off. I don't know if what I do now is enough, but it is actually manageable for me.

I am proud of myself for the changes I have made already. I like that my pants fit again and are kind of loose. But then again, I want to be in my healthy BMI range. I want to be okay with my weight and if I am in the healthy BMI range, I will be okay for health reasons as well as psychological reasons.

I read a lot of other blogs and no offense to the others, but I don't want to be crazy about my weight forever. I don't want to spend years yo yoing and freaking out over every pound. I am almost starting to think this is inevitable and it truly makes me sad. I guess part of this is genes and the eating habits I grew up with that make it difficult.

2 comments:

Jim Purdy said...

You said:
"I read a lot of other blogs and no offense to the others, but I don't want to be crazy about my weight forever. I don't want to spend years yo yoing and freaking out over every pound. I am almost starting to think this is inevitable and it truly makes me sad. I guess part of this is genes and the eating habits I grew up with that make it difficult."

Well, you're exactly right. Most of us do the yo-yo diet thing, or, as I say: "I've lost a thousand pounds on my diets ... I'v lost the same 20 pounds 50 times."

It is a struggle, and it isn't made any easier by the fact that our bodies have developed over millions of years of evolution to make us want to eat. Of course, if we would eat the natural fresh fruits and vegetables that our ancestors evolved to eat, we'd be a lot healthier.

Estellia said...

Thanks Jim. I think I may go insane if I have to lose this same 20 to 30 pounds 50 times! Thank you for the support and understanding in my post. Thank you for also listing me on your site.